


Son of the lord (ON HOLD)

by You_will_be_more_found



Category: Sally Face (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Child Abuse, Caring, Child Abuse, Closeted Character, Crushes, Cults, Denial of Feelings, Disturbing Themes, Fluff, Homophobic Language, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Implied Sexual Abuse, Implied sexual abuse at church, Implied/Eating disorder, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Religion, Self-Denial, Self-Esteem Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Travis phelps needs love, Travis's father can go die ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2020-05-31 16:39:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 26,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19429954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/You_will_be_more_found/pseuds/You_will_be_more_found
Summary: Leviticus 18:6,“You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female. It is an abomination. Travis read that over and over again. Every single word. Every single letter, over and over again until his eyes burned. He felt wrong, He felt disgusting. He couldn't be having these thoughts of the blue hair boy. It was sinful. It was wrong, but why at the same time did it feel so right?





	1. Chapter 1

"Travis you know I love you"

Travis's eyes filled with tears as he wiped his bleeding nose, still shaking.

"I just want what's best for you" His dad said again sighing "Clean yourself up."

A like that, Mr. Phelps walked away leaving travis. Travis wiped his eyes angrily and stood up walking to his room and closed the door behind him gently. He sighed walking to his bathroom. He looked at the mirror at himself, his eye and cheek were bruised, his nose was bleeding and he had a cut lip.

 _Don't show emotion. It makes you weak_.

Travis wiped his eyes. He grabbed a towel and turned the water on, dapping it on his lip until the bleeding stopped. He cleaned up in the bathroom and walked back to his room, getting in bed. Travis's eyes watered up and be covered his mouth as his body shook. He curled up on himself as he quietly sobbed himself to sleep.

* * *

The next day at school Sal sat down in his seat talking to larry joking around.

"See I can balance five coins on my nose. Beat that sal!" Larry laughed

"Shut up you know I don't have half my nose asshole" Sal said jokingly. "And even on my prosthetic I can't do that"

The school bell rang and slowly all the kids settled down and started the school day. About fifteen minutes into class Travis walked in 

"Sorry I'm late.." He said softly and made his way to his desk. The teacher scolded him as he sat down.

Sal frowned as he finally noticed travis with a bruised cheek and busted lip.

"Hey Larry...do you know what happened with Travis?"

"No. And don't care for him Sal. Hes a dick. Probably got into a fight"

"I know that but...I don't know im Just getting a weird feeling.."

"Like a nightmare or vision?" Larry asked looking at Sal shook his head again

"No like.. A feeling that something is wrong. Don't you find it weird almost every day he comes in with new bruises?"

"I mean he probably got into a lot of Fights Go ahead and ask him if you want. But if he even touches you I'm going to slap his face off"

"Fair enough"

Class went on, travis looked over at sal when the teacher yelled at him to wake up...figured he got the best grade. His eyes drifted back to his paper as the teacher told him to keep his eyes on his paper. Class ended and Trvais stepped outside, seeing Sal and his girlfriend Bitch talking.

"Hey freak!" Travis growled.

God he hated Sal. "oh hey Trvais!" Sal said turning around. His ugly mask staring back at Travis. It mocked him.

"Nobody likes a goody-two-shoes. Saaaaally face"

Travis said growling. It was easier to get people to hate you than like you. That was his moto.

"Nobody likes a cliche bully. Traaaavis"

Travis rolled his eyes and crossed his arms

"Don't you have something better to do?" Ash said annoyed.

"Shut up bitch! I wasn't talking to you." Trvais yelled. His anger growing more and more

"You know if you take that stick out out of your ass you may actually enjoy yourself Once. Maybe even make a friend or two" Sal said shrugging.

"Fuck off f*ggot! I have more friends than you'll ever have"

"You kiss your daddy with that tongue? I'm sure he-" And that's when Trvais snapped. He curled his fist and punched sal hard across his dumb mask causing blood. His eyes widened as he saw what he did and ran pass sal and ash. This Day was just great...

* * *

His dad frowned, sitting in front of the shaking boy and wiped the blood from his cheek, making travis flinch. "Go clean the rest of yourself up boy. We're going to be late to church. You know I love you. I'm just doing what's best for you" He said smiling and kissed Trvais's head standing up and walked away.

Travis slowly stood up and walked to his room, closing the door and sinking to the ground sobbing. He gripped his hair trying his best not to scream.

_Why does he do this?!_

_Why does he fuck with my head?!_

He let tears fall down his cheeks and he gripped his shirt falling to his side letting out choked sobs as he curled up.

* * *

Sal was shoved down by travis, hitting the back of his head on the pavement. Of course this happened the one day he had to walk to school alone.

Travis squat down next to him, grabbing his shirt and lifted him up slightly. You deserve this f*ggot" He sneered punching sals prosthetic. "Don't act all scared now. I'm not finished with you" Travis growled punching Sal again.

Sal turned to his side, covering his face with his arms as Travis Phelps kicked him. He was terrified now. 

"Scared now freak? God your so fucking pathetic" He growled, "Do us all a favor and kill yourself. That's the only thing you are smart enough to do" Travis spat. Walking away, leaving sal on the ground.

* * *

During lunch Travis walked around and sat at his table, alone. He liked it that way Honsetly. 

He looked around and pulled out a notebook his notebook that he wrote everything in. The only thing that was truly his. No one elses.

**I know we don't really know each other and you probably have your opinions of me**

_Well duh. You Bully him every day._

**I thought maybe if I told you how I feel, things could be different..The truth is, I can't stop thinking about you. I'm crazy about you. I think you're amazing!**

God Travis wanted to kiss sal so badly. Sal was beautiful. He was amazing. He wanted to wake up one morning, see sal asleep next to him and kiss him gently- _Stop_.

**But I know these feelings are wrong. It's not the way a boy should feel. Shame swallows me whole. My father would kill me but I can't live in his shadow forever I just...**

He scribbled more out and looked at the letter This is never going to happen. Travis stood up and stormed off to the bathroom.

He ripped the page out and threw it in the trash can as he walked to a stall. He locked the door and started crying on the toilet. A few minutes later the door opened and Travis held his breath. He watched as boots walked closer and closer to him

"Anyone in there?”

 _Oh, fuck no_.

“No duh, fuckwad. Buzz off!” He grunted, a quiet sob escaping his lips.

“Travis?. Were you just... crying a second ago?”

 _Shit.._ “Sally face? I- no! What the hell? Can’t a guy get some privacy?”

After a few seconds of silence the smaller boy spoke up

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“Because you and your friends are a bunch of homos! It’s sick! It’s not right! God will never love you! Why should I?” Travis yelled. He should be liking girls. There are tons of girls here.

“You know we aren’t all actually gay, right? I mean, besides from Todd. Todd is super gay.” Sal said snorting “But that’s part of who he is and I think that’s wonderful. He’s one of the kindest people I know. How could anyone hate Todd?”

Travis fell silent and picked at the grout on the floor

“Is your father pushing these beliefs on you?”

.“Just because my dad is a preacher doesn’t mean he owns me! I’m my own person.”

He heard Sal sigh behind the stall. “Well, you seem so unhappy, man.” “Are you sure your dad isn’t putting too much pressure on you? I bet it’s tough being the son of such an intense man.”

_Hah. Definitely tough_

"You have _no_ idea what it’s like.”

“Im sorry, man....” Sal mumbled

“Don’t feel sorry for me, Sally Face. I don’t need your pity..”

“We don’t have to be enemies, you know that, right?”

Travis was quiet as he stared sals shoes under the stall.

“I think under all that anger, there’s a good dude who’s afraid to be himself...If you ever need someone to talk to or if you need to get away from your dad for a while, you can hang out with me.”

Dammit he was crying again “...why-why are you being so nice to me?” He asked his voice cracking. He wiped his eyes and sniffed softly 

“I don’t think you’re a bad person, Travis.”

“You know...” He mumbled and took a deep breath. _You can do this_.. “I don’t really hate you... or your friends...” You can do This Travis. Your are your own person..

“I didn’t really think so.”

“I... guess- well, I’m sorry I’ve been such an asshole...you didn’t deserve that. I'm sorry.”

“That means a lot to me, it really does.” Sal said smiling. “Thank you.” He continued, “And what I said about being here for you if you ever decide you want a friend, I meant that.”

Travis smiled softly at that.

"Well see you later Travis."

He heard sal say as we walked out of the bathroom. Travis wiped his eyes again, smiling softly. After a few minutes he got out of the stall and walked out of the bathroom. Today may Just be a good day...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the first chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

The next day at school news got around that Mrs Packerton had died and bologna day was cancelled.

Rumours got around that the meat was goat meat but that was it. The day went on normally, they got a sub and no one talked about it her or the meat.

Travis was a little disappointed, bologna day was his favorite day and meal. Even if it could be...goat meat. It was still pretty tasty. It's not like it could be anything worse.

Travis sat down at his table and started eating the horrid school lunch. A few seconds later Larry Johnson sat down infront of him and travis raised his eyebrow at him. 

"What do you want"

"Sal told me your trying to be a better person. I want to see how that's going" He said smirking and Travis rolled his eyes "Oh go fuck yourself"

"Glady, but it works better with two or more people Trvais"

Travis dropped his food on the tray and looked up at Larry "I said I don't hate you guys. But I'm thinking if I should take that back."

"Aw thats a shame, looks like being a nice person is tough. well see you later Travis!" Travis rolled his eyes and picked up his food again started to eat it again.

Lunch had ended quickly and the blonde hair boy opened his backpack pulling out the flyers to his church. His father had instructed him he needed to give out every single one and thats what he was going to do. Travis stood up and handed one to a girl passing by.

"Oh sorry I'm not-"

"Take one" He growled and the girl flichhed back, quickly grabbing a flyer and walked off. 10, 40 more to go.

At the end of the day Travis had gotten rid of every one. Well some be hid in his locker, Some in the trash, but his dad didn't need to know that right? 

* * *

Finally Sunday rolled around and Trvais was at his fathers church, He knew he should love it here. Feel right in place but he didn't.

_A true Christian spends every second of his or her life devoted on the lord_

_A true Christian does whatever he or she is told_

He reminded himself and shook his tired head, forcing his eyes open. He was forced to wake up at 4:00 A.M and it was now 9:15 A.M . Trvais had to he hold the door open for guests and gave out pamphlets telling them good morning.

Mrs. Mennes, an older lady who has been to the church ever since Travis could remeber frowned when she passed him.

"You look horrible honey what happened to your face?"

"OH, just.. Fight at school"

"You know how your father feels about fights.."

"I know."

"Anyways Have you found anyone special Trvais?" she said smiling 

"No mam" Travis handed her a pamphlet as she continued to talk

"When will you find yourself a girlfriend hm?"

"oh, Not that many girls are..open..at the moment..."

"You should start to date. Your 17! People will start thinking your homosexual dear.."

Travis smiled softly and nodded "I'll try to find one."

"That's good dear" she said softly and walked into the church. About an ten minutes later everyone was talking, walking around, drinking and eating the food provided there and Travis was leaning on the wall, his eyes scanning the place until they landed on someone. Sal Fisher. He stepped forward to the blue hair boy and crossed his arms

"What the fuck are you doing here."

"I came to say hi? What's so bad about that? Also Todd needed a ride so I drove him." Sal replied sighing

"Nice chruch"

"Sally face I really don't think it's a good idea your h-"

"Travis." his Dad called out and put his hands on Travis's shoulder from behind, making the boy flinch slightly. Sal had noticed this and narrowed his eyes.

"Dear lord child why are you wearing that demonic mask?" His dad said looking at sal with pure disgust.

Sal sighed and crossed his arms. "Prosetitc. A dog attacked me and killed my mom when I was little" he said rolling his eyes.

"Im-sorry-What was your name again?" The older man said chuckling softly. He felt off to sal, but he didn't know why.

"Sal Fisher." Travis watched as his dads eyes widened and he tighted his tie "Well. Welcome to our church Mr. Fisher. I hope you enjoy it here" he said and turned around, grabbing Travis arm and leaned down

"You will not associate with _it_. Do you understand boy?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Go grab some more chairs in the back" His dad said standing back up

"Yes father" Travis said softly, walking pass sal, intentionally bumping into his shoulder hard and walked to the storage room

* * *

"Sit down."

Church had ended an hour ago, his fathers cold glare on him the whole time. He could tell his dad was mad now He didn't know why, but did he need to know?

"Have you talked to that freak before? And don't even think about lying."

"He's in my math, reading and P. E class"

"Have you talked to him."

"Yes."

"Hm." His dad walked closer to him and grabbed his wrist tightly, making Trvais flinch. His dad leaned close to him. Faces almost touching

"Listen here. You will never talk to him again. If he approaches you, you will walk away. If he tries to talk to you, you will walk away. If you are paired up with him, demand you want to switch. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes father." His dad let go of his wrist and stood up again "Good. Make sure you finished all your homework. If you did then read your Bible"

"Of course." Travis stood up from the couch and started walking upstairs. His dad shoved him in the back making him stumble forward

"And go change. You look fat and ugly in that suit Travis"

"Yes father."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I oop-


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: CHILD ABUSE AND SELF HARM.  
> There will be ********* to start and end the section of that part,  
> Stay safe guys!

_Travis woke up in the morning, sun rising as he turned to his left. He smiled softly at the blue hair boy curled up to him, Travis smiled softly at him and ran his fingers through his hair._

_"Hey Tav"_

_"Morning Sal" Travis said softly and turned to his side, moving hair out of the blue hair boys face smiling. He gently took Sals cheek and moved closer to him kissing the boy on his lips. A few seconds later they pulled away and sal looked at him smiling._

_"I love you"_

_"I love you too"_

_Both boys started to hear faint knocking grow louder and louder, Travis looked around and his eyes stopped at a door that grew bigger and bigger_

_"Travis?"_

_"Tra_ vis!"

"TRAVIS!"

Travis's eyes shot open and he jumped up looking around, it was a dream. That fucking dream again.

"Open this fucking door now boy!"

He rubbed his head and stood up from the bed walking quickly to his door and opened it to face his dad.

"I'm sorry far-"

His dad slapped his cheek "You will not lock this door again do you understand? Next Time I will remove this door. I should remove already but I'll give you a chance"

"Yes sir"

"Get ready for school. I'm not driving you. Tomorrow I have church meeting. I will be staying there late. You will not call me for any reasons unless you are bleeding out or someone breaks in understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. And remember The lord is always watching!"

* * *

Travis sighed as he walked in the rain to his school. He had missed the bus and he didn't know anyone that could take him. This sucks..

"Travis?"

Oh no. It was Ashley..

"Nope." He called out and tried to walk faster, he could see the school in the distance.

'Travis!"

"Don't talk to me"

Ash grabbed his arm and Trvais flinched, turning around "Don't touch me." He growled.

Ash stepped back and frowned holding out her umbrella for Travis.

"There. So you can't get wet..What happened..?" she asked looking at his face "Oh my god.."

"Gee thanks..and it's fine. Just hit my check on my door"

that doesn't look like you Hit-"

"Leave it." He growled

"You know he cares for you"

"Who?"

"Sal.. He cares for you"

"Mhm sure." Travis rolled his eyes and walked away from ash, stepping into the rain again.

After two minutes Travis turned around to see Ashley following him. He stopped and growled at her "Can you Fuck off? Don't bother me again Bitch!"

"One, we both are going to school. Two, Hes worried for you"

"Well tell him to stop worrying."

"Travis-"

'Are you deaf? I said fuck off!" He yelled stepping forward and made ash flinch back

"Arent you trying to be a better person...?"

"He told everyone didn't he. Fucking basterd...Mind your own god damn business. Don't talk to me okay? I'm trying to be a better person. I don't hate you but I don't want to talk to you" He snapped and walked to school, not listening to Ashley call his name.

* * *

Travis sighed as he walked into the school going straight to his locker

"Travis?"

He turned around and saw Sal staring at him. Ah shit

"Yeah?" He mumbled grabbing some books from his locker closing it

"My number. I realized that I never gave you it.. In the bathroom. Sorry about that.. Even though its a week later, hope that was okay"

He took it and smiled softly "Thanks" Travis put the note in his pocket and looked back at Sal "And it's chill"

"You know that's the first time in four years I've ever seen you smile Travis....Its nice"

"Yeah, well it's probably the last time you'll see it" He blushed slightly, looking down. His eyes widened. He shouldn't be blushing. Stop no. No. No.

"Hey um random question, don't need to answer it but who was the note for?" Sal asked softly, watching as Travis tensed

"What?"

"The note. In the bathroom.."

"What note?" Travis said, his heart racing

"There was a note on the floor next to the trash, and it looked like your hand writing. You said you liked someone but those feelings were wro-"

"Shut up!" Travis yelled staying in place

"Travis its okay to feel that way..."

"I'm not a Fucking f*g!" He yelled shoving Sal, making him hit the wall, his sudden anger washed away as he saw Sal

"Ow, shit-" Sal cursed rubbing the back of his head

"-Sal- Fuck Fuck I'm sorry." Travis cursed

"its okay.." the boy said rubbing his head

"It's not I'm sorry" He said and ran off again

Travis didn't dare to look back at Sal, tears threatening to come out of his eyes

* * *

Travis walked out of English class looking down. All he needed to do was get through math with Sal and he was at lunch. This was fine. it was going to be okay

"Phelps!" A voice yelled and he looked around to see Larry

"What do you want?" he growled and Larry crossed his arms, looking around until everyone in the hallways was gone. That's when. Larry grabbed Travis's shirt and pinned him to the wall holding him up, 

The blonde hair boy gasped, looking right at Larry with fear

"Don;t you ever come near me and Sal again Phelps. I don't give a shit what Sal thinks of you. You will always be a asshole Travis. I don't care what your dad does to you. Boohoo you have a bad home because he's neglectful I don't care. He's a bitch as well."

Travis clenched his fists and shoved Larry off punching him in the jaw. "Don't you dare talk to my dad like that"

"Heh I was waiting for that" Larry said and shoved Travis back. Both boys started hitting and slapping each other as the seconds passed. Travis shoved Larry down on the ground and pounced on him, both rolled on the ground, pulling each others hair and punching

"Larry!" Sal yelled running to the two boys fighting "Hey! Stop it!" Sal yelled trying to pry the two boys off. A teacher in the classroom next door heard the yelling from outside and ran outside to the hall.

"Mr. Johnson!" 

She grabbed Travis an pulled him off of Larry holding him back, Sal did the same with Larry.

"You two. That's enough! This school doesn't tolerate fighting I got it from here "Mr. Fisher. Thank you" She said and grabbed Travis and Larry waking off with the two boys into the principals office.

__

* * *

After a talk with the principal of the school the punishment would only be detention, starting next week for a whole week. They let Larry go and brought Travis to the nurses office to see if he was okay

"Is that a new bruise?" The nurse asked Travis shrugged

"Kinda? I slammed my face on a locker a few nights ago"

"Keep this to your eye dear, and You're father is here" She said as she handed him an ice pack."

"What?"

"You're father is here to pick you up."

"Oh..Thank you Mrs" Travis said softly and walked out of the nurses office, still holding the ice to his eye to see his dad in the doorway, his fists clenched.

 _Oh shit.._ Travis thought as he stood in place. He was in trouble. Major trouble.

"Travis." His dad frowned as the smaller boy walked to him. "Why was I called here?"

"I got into a fight."

"And why did you get into a fight?"

"He insulted you."

Travis could feel his dads intense glare stare at him.

"I don't care. Why did YOU get in a fight."

"....Because I'm weak and let the devil inside me.."

His dad smirked and put a hand on Travis's. Shoulder, Travis flinched back softly. " That's right boy. And...You know I don't like doing this Travis. I hate it but we need to make your mind strong. Your body weak. That's the only way to be healed"

"Yes sir.."

Sal watched this conversation, frowning himself as he watched Mr. Phelps grabbed Travis's arm and drag him off. Something was definitely off.

"Yo Sal cmon. I think Todd is onto something about the cult. After I got out of the office he ran to me talking about it and Ignore Travis. He Fucking hurt you." Larry called from behind him, Sal turned around and walked to Larry

"Travis's dad is giving me weird vibes"

"How so?"

"Well, on Sunday, last week when I told him my name at church he got nervous all of a sudden and was whispering shit to Trvais who looked pretty scared"

"Well his dad is a Fucking scary guy little dude. But don't bother thinking about them"

"Yeah.. Anyways lets go find Todd"

* * *

******************TW STARTS HERE*******

  
The door slammed behind Travis and he jumped looking at his dad, The first punch came to his stomach, the second one to his cheek, the third one on his cheek again

He grabbed Travis's chin and forced his face to look up "You will obey ME boy!" his father yelled "You will always be loyal to ME! You will stay in this house where your god commands you!"

The older man shoved Travis down hard and toward over him "I can't believe you. Losing a fight to a that Johnson kid!? He's the devils child! What kind of pathetic excuse for a son are you!?"

He undid his belt and foiled it up, gripping it tightly before he started hitting Travis with it hard.

"Stop! Please stop im sorry! I'll do better next time please stop father i-"

His dad didn't listen to him and continued to hit him with the belt over and over again.

Travis cried and screamed, trashing around begging for his father to stop. After a few M\minutes he threw the belt down and grabbed Travis's hair, forcing his head up. He punched him in the nose hard making the boy move his hands to his probably broken nose.

"Travis. You need to understand I'm trying to help you.." His dad said standing up frowning. "I hate doing this to you..but I need to"

Travis's body shook and he swallowed nervously .He nodded and wiped his nose "Yes father.. Can I.. Clean up?"

"Of course"

Travis stood up and quickly walked to his room. Locking the door and went into his bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, cuts on his cheek, his lip busted, a new bruise forming. He wished he could apply make up to his face, to hide what had happened, but if his father ever found out he would probably kill him. The boy got a damp rag and started dabbing at the blood on his face sighing.

Travis sat the rag down and stared at himself even more. Tears started to fall down his cheeks, he couldn't take this anymore. Everything felt numb now. He couldn't feel anything. He needed to feel something, not pain, relief.

Travis dug through his drawers until he found what he wanted. How long was it? A year? He didn't care anymore. Travis held the blade to his skin and dragged it across.

He was stupid

Cut

F*ggot

Cut

Whore

Cut

Bitch

Cut

Asshole

Cut

Worthless  
Nothing  
Alone  
Pathetic  
Sinful  
Monster  
Abomination  
Demon  
Die

Travis looked down at his bloody arms and he teared up again setting the razor aside as he quickly washed the blood off his arms. The boy grabbed some cloth and cleaned his arms, bandaging them up like nothing ever happened.

****************TW OVER*************

* * *

After he knew his dad had fallen asleep he carefully walked downstairs, ever so slowly, Travis carefully held Sals phone number in his hand and picked up the home phone, dilling it in

_pick up.. please pick up_

His thoughts came to a stop when he heard noise on the other end

"He..Hello?"

"who is this...? Its like...11 at night?"

"I..it's Travis"

"Travis?"

"Hey um does your offer still stand? I know I shoved you today. I'm sorry. I really am..but..My..Dad. I..need to get away. Just for a little bit."

"Yeah man..definitely... We can go to an ice cream place? Scoops ahoy?"

"Yeah that would be great... Thank you"

"Your welcome, and we can meet up at..what time?"

"Ten in the morning, I'm at XXXXXX. Don;t come inside or knock. Wait by the bench."

"Will do"

"Thanks Sally Face"

"Anytime Travis"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied child abuse,  
>   
> This is a song flash back thing.
> 
> And I'm on my phone so sorry if stuff looks weird

_Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run_

_Travis curled up in his closet. His breathing increased rapidly._

_Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run_

_He heard his dad scream his name. And then punching the wall._

_B_ _ang, bang, bang, bang goes the farmer's gun._

_"Travis!" the devil himself yelled._

_Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run, run_

_"I know you're hiding you pathetic excuse for a child! Come out now!"_

_Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run_

_Don't give the farmer his fun, fun, fun_

_He'll get by without his rabbit pie_

_So run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run_

_"On the count of ten. Open your fucking door Trvais. 1"_

_Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run._

_"2"_

_Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run_

_"3"_

_Bang, bang, bang, bang goes the farmer's gun_

_"4"_

_Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run, run_

_"5"_

_Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run_

_"6"_

_Don't give the farmer his fun, fun, fun_

_"_ _7"_

_He'll get by without his rabbit pie_

_"8"_

_So run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run._

_"9"_

_Travis ulocked his door and looked up at his dad, looking at him with pure demonic glare._

_So run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run._


	5. Chapter 5

****

"Jesus you look like shit" Sal mumbled looking at travis as the taller boy walked to him. Trvais had on a blue turtleneck and a black jacket on him, a new look to the boy

"Yeah. I know." He said shrugging. The two boys started walking to town, After a few minutes of silence Sal spoke up again.

"What happened?"

"Got in a fight with my neighbors kids. It's fine"

"I'll beat them up for you" Sal Laughed, but stopped when he noticed travis wasn't laughing. Or smiling. 

"Please don't" Travis said softly. 

"You're sure you're alright?"

"Yeah ass-yeah I'm fine just...tired" 

Sal frowned through his prosthetic as they walked into scops ahoy, Trvais's eyes widened as he saw Larry sitting at a table. 

"Why is Larry here"

"He wanted to come like a week ago Travis. It's fine..." 

"He's going to hate me"

"He won't.." 

"fine." He grumbled crossing his arms 

"Larry face!" Sal yelled walking over to Larry, a big grin spread across his face 

"Sally face- wait. Why is he here" Larry growled staring at travis. His smile quickly disappeared.

"He asked me if he could come.." 

"Bullshit" Larry growled and watched as sal sat down, Travis following after. 

"Fine. I told him he can spend time with us."

"For what reason?!"

"Hes trying to be nicer!" 

"Bull. Fucking. Shit. He's always going to be the Jackass who tormented us all through high school!" 

"Larry can you shut up for once. People are staring at us enough." Sal growled softly 

Travis stared at the two, shrinking down on himself. People were staring. Mainly at sal..

"We can fight about me later Johnson. Let's just not do it here" Travis whispered softly

"Fine. C'mon. let's get ice-cream." Larry growled still staring at travis.

"Travis what flavor do you want?" Sal asked and travis shrugged "My dad only lets me get vanilla...so vanilla I guess?"

"Nice." Sal said and travis stood up as well walking to the counter.

The three boys payed for ice cream, sal getting sherbet and Larry, rocky road. 

"Larry hold my ice cream" sal said and handed it to ice cream. Travis watched this confused. That was until Sal unbuckled the bottom clip of his mask. He took the ice cream back from Larry and started eating it, looking down so no one would be able to see his face. 

Shit he wanted to see Sal face, he bet it was beautiful. He wanted to kiss him....No. stop. Stop. This is wrong. Evil-"

"Wait.are those. Brown roots" Larry said looking at travis, Who shot his eyes up and looked at Larry. 

"Shit. Uh yeah." He said shrugging as he licked his ice cream. 

_Please don't go this way._..

"You're not naturally blonde!? But, all in elementary and..You never had roots!" 

_Of course it was going this way_.

Travis sighed and bit his lip "My dad makes me dye it every two weeks..He forgot about it yesterday so I probably need to do it today Johnson."

"What the fuck?" Larry said leaning back. "Doesn't that like damage hair?" He mumbled and licked his ice cream.

Sal was now looking at travis, worry seeping over him. 

"Yeah but he doesn't care. He wants me to be the perfect son..Matthew 5:48 So be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect..I got my dad's icy blue eyes and my moms chestnut hair..but he wants it to be blonde like his.

"What. The fuck. Travis. You're dad is a piece of shit." Sal spoke up

"Like I said before. You have no idea." 

The boys sighed and continued to have their ice cream, once they finished they decided to talk a little bit. 

Sal looked over at travis and finally noticed he had bandages on his wrists that poked out of his jacket, Blood was bleeding through them, Sal sighed sadly at that. Travis probably noticed as well, as He excused himself from the table and walked quickly to the bathroom

Five minutes went by.. Then ten.. Then twenty...

"I'm going to check on Travis. He's been in there for a long time

"Hmph..Just tell me if he punches you or anything I don't trust him still, going to get seconds hah"

"Yeah yeah.." Sal stood up and walked into the bathroom, seeing Travis gripping the sides of the sink mumbling something "You're a f*g Travis. A Fucking f*g burn in hell. Burn in Fucking hell."

Say sighed sadly as he heard this. The poor boy was so afraid to be something his dad must have not wanted.. And Travis hated himself for it 

"Hey" He spoke up.

Travis jumped and turned around looking at sal " What do you want!?" 

"Came to check on you. You've been in here for a while. You ok man?" he said crossing his arms.

Travis held his cross. The only thing his mom and dad gave to him together. A peaceful thing it was, his symbol of the only thing good. , to his chest tightly,

"I-well..um.. "

Sal frowned softly as he noticed travis panicked looked, he glanced at his bandages and sighed "You're bleeding..."

"Fuck" He cursed looking at his arm. Blood was bleeding through the bandage. "Dammit"

"What happened?"

"OH.... I.. I'm.. " Trvais took a shaky breath and looked down. He sinned. He sinned god hated him. The devil was inside him he-"I relapsed...." 

Sals heart broke as he heard this. He had learned more about Travis, he was kind, nice, scared inside and had a piece of shit dad... And had to deal with all this alone. "Can I see them?" Sal asked softly walking to him.

'I'm sorry-" Travis mumbled looking down and extended his arm. 

"Don't apologize it's ok. I understand..Are they new ones?" Sal asked as he gently took Travis's arm looking at the messy bandage

" last night... ." 

"Did you clean them?"

"I only washed the blood off and bandged them." 

"Alright, c'mon we can go to my place to clean them."

"Sally face i cant i-"

"Please?" 

"ok... But make sure im back before five. My dad would kill me if I'm not."

Sal and Travis walked out of the bathroom and saw larry with a banana Sunday.

"Hey me and Trvais need to go"

"Hm?" Larry said confused said looking up 

"I forgot my dad got out early today and he probably is driving back now. Sals walking me back" Travis lied quickly and the Two boys walked out.

* * *

Travis stayed silent as sal cleaned his arms and then wrapped them in bandages again.

"There. All cleaned!"

He said smiling softly and Trvais smiled weakly. "Yeah.." 

"Are you ok. Really ok?" Sal asked frowning as they walked into his room and sat on his bed "You need help. This is serious.. I can help you find better coping mechanisms but you don't want to go down this path. I really don't it's a dark one" 

"I'm fine." he growled. 

"I've been clean for one month" Sal said smiling softly under his prosthetic.

"....I used to be clean for a year..."

" shit man that's awesome. You can ame for it again ok? Slowly but surely" 

"yeah..but I already sinned...."

"what..?" Sal asked softly putting a hand on Travis shoulder, the boy stayed still blinking back tears.

"Travis Hey are you ok?"

"I'm going to burn in hell I'm terrible"

"Hey Whoa you're not going to hell travis" Sal said worriedly.

"I am okay! I'm abomination! Everything I do is dragging me to hell! I'm a disappointment to everyone!" He screamed backing away

"Travis you're not. You're amazing. You're not going to burn in hell..." 

"im am freak!" Travis snapped backing up "Fuck this I shouldnt of even asked to hang out"

"Wait-!" He said reaching out grabbing his arm, travis flinched back, on instinct he closed his eyes and flung his fist thankfully not hitting sal 

"Travis Hey it's ok it's ok breathe you're going to pass out!" Sal yelled again looking at the taller boy 

"Don't Fucking touch me!" He screamed "I don't want your dirty hands on me" 

"Travis calm down its ok -"

"No! Don't tell me what to do Bitch!" 

Sal scrambled up and grabbed Travis shoulder and arm pulling him back which made him flinch hard.

"I SAID don't touch me!" He shrieked and shoved sal down. He was hyperventilating still.

His eyes widened when he saw sals mask on the ground and sal turned away. Back facing him. 

"Sally face I-" His eyes widened and he walked up to sal, "FUCK I should go in so sorry- I'm sorry Fucking sorrry!"

"No...No That was my fault." Sal said sighing and rubbed his head, he grabbed his mask butting in back on back on locking it in place, and turned to see Travis. "I kept pushing you even though sudden contact was making you panic. I'm sorry" He said as he stood up. "I'm really sorry Travis." 

Travis sniffed wiping his eyes backing up to the bed and sat down on the edge of it "Fuck-im so sorry" He said hiccuping on tears that formed in his eyes. 

"Travis look at me." 

His eyes widened as he saw sal sitting next to him without his mask. Smiling softly. 

Had had a huge stitch running from his forehead to his chin, half of his nose was gone and there was a small stitch on it and part of his top lip was gone showing the tops of his teeth and gums. His left eye has deep cuts surrounding his slightly lighter color eye... Part of his cheek was hollowed in, another stitch..

He was ugly.. That was true but it only showed how much travis loved him. He didn't love him for how he looked.. He loved him for his heart and how he acted.

Travis's eyes widened and he just..broke. He laughed at the boys mask, joking about him. Mocking him for everything. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being an asshole for hitting you for telling you awful thing all through high school -" He sniffed but was cut off by Sal.

"Can I hug you?" 

"w-what?" 

"Can I hug you?" 

"Yeah.."

Sal wrapped his arms around his former bully and pulled him close tubbing Travis's back. Travis bit his lip to fight off the tears away. He couldn't cry. He couldn't show emotion in front of Sally face. He couldn't be weak in front of him. 

"you can cry you know...If you want to. It's ok to cry Travis.." 

Travis looked up at sals scar filled face and his eyes teared up. Sal just hugged him tighter. This was one of Travis's first hugs he had in years that didn't last two seconds. he quickly sobbed into sals shoulder. The taller boy hiccuped and gripped the back of sals shirt, his body shaking violently. 

"Shh Shh, let it out Travis....let it out" sal said softly, he rocked his body slowly and let Travis sob into him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's just going to get worse for Travis : )


	6. School

So yeah updates are going to be a lot slower since I'm starting school in a week..

Fun 

Anyways enjoy the rest of your summer hell starts


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: eating disorder implied,  
> Nothing plot wise happens in this chapter so you can skip it if you want and if you want a quick summary of it let me know in the comments.
> 
> That goes for everything and for any TW. if I do miss a TW please let me know!

The weekend had past happened. Sal didn't see anything. He didn't have a breakdown in front of him. Everything was fine. 

Now it was Monday. A new school week and P.E. 

Travis stopped running in the gym, heaving and placed his hands on his thighs taking deep breaths. Having his arms covered by a tight undershirt.

"Move it, Phelps!" The coach yelled blowing his whistle, 

Travis sighed and started jogging again. He was not in fit shape for this at all. His dad made him join almost every sport. Football Season..basketball season... Then after high school, he would take over as a priest. His life was already planned out. 

Travis looked over at sal and jogging, with Larry, the blue-haired boy looked beautiful..his hair, his arms, his as- 

Stop. Repent Travis.

He sighed softly and shook his head, stopping again and took a breath. He felt dizzy, sweating, light-headed. 

"Hey, Travis you're looking a bit pale... Are you feeling okay?" Sal asked walking over to him, the boy looked over at sal, at his worried blue eye

"I'm fine" He growled blinking and sal sighed

"Travis you should lay down. Go to the nurse or something you look really bad."

"Stop trying to talk to me. Saturday never happened. Stop trying to make it happen. I'm fine." Travis growled turning around and started jogging again. Big mistake. The boy stumbled forward and shut his eyes taking a deep breath, his world spinning.

"Travis? Hey, are you okay? Trav...." that's when the worl d turned black and he felt his body fall to the ground.

* * *

The boy groaned as he woke up, dim light shining through his eyes. Travis sat up rubbing his head. A few seconds later a nurse walked in a smiled softly at Travis "Feeling any better?" She asked softly 

"Huh? What happened?" He asked rubbing his eyes. 

"You passed out honey" 

"Oh.. " Travis looked down and bit his lip. That was new.

"Did you have breakfast today?" The nurse asked as she started to take the boy's blood pressure.

No.

"Yeah..." 

"Good can you tell me what you ate?"

"Oh uh...French toast...fruit...and water." 

"Okay...We have some crackers and juice boxes. "I'll be right back"  She said smiling, taking off the fabric on Travis's arm to test his blood pressure. 

A few minutes later she came back and handed the boy the snack with juice.

Travis took them and opened the juice drinking it, then he opened the small plastic seal of the crackers and started to eat them slowly, glancing down.

"Can I rest here?" He spoke up after a few seconds, the nurse turned to him smiling and nodded.

"of course sweetie. I'll be in the other room if you need anything."

Travis stayed there for the rest of the class, changing out of his P.E clothes and into his normal sweater. The boy fell asleep for thirty minutes and was woken by the nurse telling him he needed to go.

* * *

He was now in physics panicking at the last few minutes of class, larry walking up next to him.

"Sal made me check on you. Don't think I care. How are you?" He heard Larry say. Travis was frantically trying to solve one of the questions on the and the taller boy narrowed his eyes. 

Travis stared at his homework sheet, blinking back tears. He needed to finish this. His dad would see this. He needed to get everything right. He needed to show he was smart.

_ Smart? You really think you're smart? You're stupid travis! You're fucking stupid!  _

_ Stupid  _

_ Stupid  _

_ Stupid  _

_ Stupid! _  
  


"...Travis......hey Phelps" Larry sighed and snapped his fingers making Travis look at him

"Hm?" 

"You've been acting strange.." 

"And?" 

"And it's weird man. You haven't been punching us or saying we're flamers or sissy's at all today. Are you sick or something? Is sal actually getting to you?"

"Oh..yeah. didn't sleep"

"Right...you collapsed during gym dude."

Travis rolled his eyes "Yeah I know. I just passed out." 

"I Fucking carried you." 

Travis blinked at that taking a shaky breath "What?"

"I carried you to the nurse. On my back." Larry said smirking knowing that would get on his skin. It wa true though, but Larry had offered to carry the boy to the nurse. He asked if travis was okay. 

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck..."Gross that's gay."

"Ay there's the travis I know." Larry said smirking "What. Afriad your Christian rep will be destroyed if people thought you were gay?"

"No. Its wrong. Its gross. And I'm not gay.." 

Larry rolled his eyes and flicked travis off. "Whatever. You have fingers to far stuck up your ass" he growled and walked away.

* * *

The day went by quickly and travis sighed as he started walking on the grass to get home. That's when he heard a familiar voice..

"Travis!" Sal called out and he turned around seeing sal walk up to him. Oh great.. why now, 

"What's going on? Did your dad find out about Saturday? Is this what it is? You've been acting weird all day!" Sal yelled at him frantically, this only made travis shrink down 

"No. He didn't find out. And I'm fine.."

"Then what is. You went from wanting to be closer to asking for help! To ignoring us and snapping when I'm trying to help- that's not. People don't do that. And then you, pass out during PE- do you know how scared I was! Something is wrong and I want to help you.."

Travis clenched his fists and took a deep breath, "I'm fine... I just want to be alone. Please... just leave me alone" He asked looking up with eyes that were pleading

"Okay...okay...I'm just worried for you travis."

"I-I Know.." He mumbled softly and glanced down "Bye.." The boy sighed and turned around walking home. His heart aching 

Sal watched as travis walked home, wanting to follow him badly. "Sal!" Larry called out, sal turned around and sighed walking back to larry, glancing back at the boy who was now running. 

Travis opened the door to his house quietly and closed it. The boy looked around and saw his dad walking to his office 

"Father" Travis said clearly and started walking to his room . sighed as he sat on his bed and layed down . He'll rest his eyes for a few minutes...yeah.

_ The two where in the park. Travis sitting down and sal was looking at the flowers.  _

_ "Hey sal? Can I ask you a question?" Travis mumbled nervously. His heart pounded so hard he could barely hear it. He was hiding flowers and a box behind him. _

_ "Yeah?" Sal asked walking closer to him with no prosthetic on, hismauled face still looking beautiful.  _

_ He smiled and stood up, moving the flowers in front of him and handed them to the boy _

_ "Sal. Um... You are beautiful..and um" Travis chuckled and moved the box in front of him, kneeling down on one knee, he opened the box relieving a beautiful sapphire ring. _

_ Sal gasped and covered his mouth as travis spoke "Sal..would you marry me?" _

Travis opened his eyes and rubbed them yawning, Did he fall asleep? Shit.. Travis quickly looked at the time. 6:30. His eyes widened in fear. 

Shit shit shit he was late.

Travis jumped out of his bed and quickly walked downstairs, his heart pounded with fear. His dad was going to be pissed...

Travis walked past his father quickly but was stopped by him grabbing his hand. The boy turned around and swallowed flinching back as his dad slapped his cheek.

"You're Late. good Christian boys don't misbehave travis." His dad growled "Go get dinner ready now." 

"Yes Father" The boy mumbled softly and walked into the kitchen, Praying silently his dad would like the food.

They said their prayers before they ate, both sat in silence as they ate, travis eating slower than his dad. That's when his dad finally spoke up; 

"Hm Work out more Travis. You are fat. I don't want a fat son." His dad mumbled and ate more of his food. 

Travis glanced down at the meal he almost finished on his plate. He didn't feel hungry anymore.  "Yes father" 

"Also your grades are getting low travis. I don't want you having B's. How will you ever succeed in life? Tomorrow I will ask god and see how he feels about you staying for tutorials. If not come straight home. Understand?"

"Yes father"

His dad nodded and Travis watched as he left the table saying a quick "Good night" And disappeared into his study. 

Travis sighed softly and grabbed his plate, throwing away the rest of his food in the trash and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Travis Phelps Journal

  
_The Holy Bible_  
_Property of Travis Phelps_  
~~_Travis Phelps secret journal_ ~~

_February 16_  
_Fucking burn in hell you sinner_  
_Die you peice of shit. F*ggot_  
_Just fucking kill yourself already you're going to burn anyways_

_February 17_  
_I went to church today and saw sal again_  
_Father made me go help Father Joseph again. We played a game. He tells me it's a game. He tells me its holy since he is a priest helping my Father. I don't know what to believe._  
_Father got mad at dinner because the food was cold. I didn't eat_

_February 18_  
_I'm an abomination for liking sal. I can't get him out of my head. I'm ashamed to say I love him. I want to tell him but I can't_

_February 19_  
_I hate my dad._

_February 20_  
_Sal offered to invite me to eat lunch with him. I declined._  
_Larry hates me still. So does ash. Todd seems skeptical_

__  
~~February 21~~  
~~I love you sal I can't stop thinking about you I want you~~

_Feb 22_  
_I skipped math. I couldn't bare to look at sal._

_Feb 22_  
_I cant do it. I need to call someone. I need to get away from this place. I can't do it anymore. I feel so close to ending this god for saken life I need someone to help. I don't know what to do._


	9. Chapter 9

"Larry, hit me up" sal mumbled, unbuckling the bottom if his mask taking the cigarette that Larry gave him. He lit it and took a deep breath. 

"I'm going to church again this sunday. I need to see if it has any connection to the cult. Or try to get to travis somehow. If the church is apart of it. I need to find out"

"Be safe though" 

"I will" 

A few seconds later sal spoke.  "I mean I care for him. I really do but if he has ties to the cult..we need to know.. you get me?"

"Hm yeah, I don't care for him anyways so.." He said shrugging, blowing into the cigarette again. 

"Yeah. I know. I'm going to head up to my room, my dad should be back from work in a few minutes.." sal said looking at the time.

"Nice" 

Sal waved bye to larry, tossing his cigarette In the jug of old ones. He buckled his mask up again and left 

Moments after he entered his apartment he heard the phone call. The boy frowned walking over to it, picking it up

"Hello?"

"Sal? Hey" Travis said nervously on the other line obviously sniffing "im...sorry..but...um my dad is out of town for tonight...I..can I.. can we hang out? Just us?"

Sal hummed and sighed "Yeah man sure. Where do you want to go?" He asked. He was getting annoyed being honest. Travis asking for help, getting help. Then go back to calling them f*gs

"Uh...park? Just give me five minutes" 

Sal heard murmurs on the other side of the phone..was travis with someone?

"Travis?"

"You're time will come soon Sal" A darker deeper voice echoed. 

"Travis-?" He asked again, dred seeped through him.

"Are you..is anyone else with you?" 

"No?" Travis said his normal voice came back.

"Ok sorry thoughts I heard something...uh I'll...be at the park" sal said hanging up, he walked into his room grabbing some paper wrote a note to his dad

'Hanging out with friend. Be back later'

It was 5:48 pm when sat sat down on a bench at the park. He taped his knees and looked over to see someone walking towards him. Travis. 

He looked at travis sadly seeing the boy with a jacket, his, his left eye and cheek had bruises on them and his bottom lip was cut open. 

"Hey" sal said quietly and travis just moved his head to acknowledge Sal was there. 

The bluenette sighed again "So, where should we go?" 

"Can we just talk here?" Travis mumbled and Sal nodded "Yeah sure man. What do you want to talk about?"

"Um anything really"

"Oh ok so um, yesterday me and larry were headbanging after school, and my mask came off hitting his nose and making it bleed..I panicked and didn't realize my mask was off until I I felt a breeze on my face... he didn't...react to my face..I cried so hard" he said chuckling softly 

"Anyways we laughed and head banged more and-" 

Sal heard faint sobs and turned to see travis covering his mouth, shutting his eyes tight, like he was forcing himself to not cry. 

Sal frowned at this "Can I wrap my arm around you...?" He asked, travis didn't look up and just nodded, shutting his eyes even tighter. 

Sal moved his left arm, placing it around the boys shoulders. He watched as travis hesitantly leaned onto sals shoulders, his body shaking as he moved his head onto the boys sweater crying into it. Sal adjusted himself so he was now hugging travis, Who wrapped his arms around sal tightly. He didn't say anything. He just let travis cling onto him like sal was his lifeboat. Sal was whispering calming words, saying it's okay to cry. It was obvious the boy didn't get this comfort often. Or probably never.

"Im sorry-Can I sleep over?" The blonde haired boy whispered finally. His eyes more red than they already were. "Please..?"

"Of course" Sal said sighing under his mask. "We can get some fast food? You can wait outside if you want." 

"Ok.." he mumbled wiping his eyes

Sal and travis stood up, walking out of the park and to the town, travis was extra quiet this time, and sal being respectful didn't ask any questions. 

They went into chick fil a, Sal buying some fries, a shake, and some chicken nuggets, not caring about the weird stares. 

Sal unbuckled his lower part of the prosthetic to eat, the chicken nuggets and to drink. He watched as travis was eating only the fries, nothing else on them and a drink. 

"You want any nuggets?"

"I'm fine"

Travis and sal talked until six, joking and talking about random things. 

"You got enough?" Sal asked looking at the half eaten fries and half full drink 

"Yeah, I ate something at home" 

"Great cause can I the rest?" 

"Go ahead" Sal grinned and took the box, staring to eat the fries..

"Trav watch this"

He covered his face with the prosthetic again, and put two fries into the holes for his nose, looking at travis, not blinking.

Travis covered his mouth as he snorted. His real laugh. 

Sal Fisher had just heard travis's real laugh. It was perfect.

Sal chuckled himself and took the fries out of his nose holes, pulling his mask up a little to eat them. 

They laughed and joked until six, that was until sal told travis they could go to the apartments. 

He watched as travis nodded, standing up, and threw his drink away. 

"Is your dad going to..be there..?" The boy asked nervously, Sal took notice of travis's nervous behavior. Still a first for the boy..

"Yeah, but don't worry..You've met him right?"

"I don't remember..no"

"Oh..well he's nice. Don't worry" Sal grinned

The two boys started walking back to the apartments in silence, sal taking note of how, happy travis was looking now. Even with no words, the smile on his face told everything. 

They made their way to Sal apartment, walking inside. Henry was on the couch drinking when he turned to see sal. 

"Back! Is it okay if a friend sleeps over?" Sal yelled, then asked his dad his dad

Henry stood up and walked over to the two, frowning softly

"We ate already" Sal told his dad, who seemed to be looking at travis worriedly.

"I don't want to be a burden though.."

"You're not son. It's not a big deal that you came, sals friend, larry comes over all the time. It's fine" 

"Thank you sir"

"Wo-o-oah sir. I've never had that before hah, but you can call me Henry. Sir feels..weird for me." 

"Yes s-Henry. Got it...I'm..going to use the uh bathroom" travis mumbled walking away. Once the door to the bathroom was shut Henry spoke up

"Sal. Should I call the police" Henry finally asked

"Why?"

"Your friends face, should I call anyone?"

"No, no. He's fine, just got in a fight" 

Henry sighed and rubbed his forehead "alright..just help him clean up?" 

"I will dad"

A few minutes later travis exited the bathroom, glancing at sals dad walking up to him.

"I'm Henry Fisher, sals dad. Pleasure to meet you" He said smiling shaking the boys hand. Travis smiled softly and nodded "You to.." The boy said softly, 

"Sal told me you got in a fight with neighbors?"

Travis paused for a second, confused before nodding "Yeah, it was over something stupid as well"

"Ah well we have some ice in the fridge and bandages in the cabinet"

"Thank you" Travis mumbled

Sal has told travis to wait in his room while he got the ice pack and bandages. He walked in to see travis petting gizmo and smiled "Aww.."

Travis turned around his eyes widened "Sorry, should of asked to pet him.." He said standing up and walked to the bed sitting down 

"Its chill travis, we need to the bathroom to clean you up" Sal said to travis. He sighed and nodded following sal.

Sal started wiping off some of the dried blood off of travis's face, being gentle to not hurt him. Once he finished he handed travis the ice back watching as travis placed the ice pack on his eye, flinching st the coldness, glancing down sighing. 

"You alright?" Sal asked 

"Yeah..I really don't want to talk about it.."

"I understand, is the ice good?"

"Mhm" Travis said softly, 

"Well that's good! Ready to head back to my room?"

"Yeah" Travis said and sal smiled softly. He stood up, walking out of the bathroom and to his room, he watched as travis sat down on his bed. 

Sal turned back to his TV and turned it on to a random show that was on.

"Father says TV is the devil's way of brainwashing us" He heard travis mumbled

"You've never watched TV? What kind of childhood did you have?" 

Sal paused, his eye widened once he realised what he said

"Fuck sorry" 

"Its fine."

Time passed and they watched TV until it was 10:00 at night, 

"Hey can you turn away?" He asked travis, who just shrugged and turned away. 

Sal took a deep breath, unbuckling his mask and let it down. He reached for his eye puller thing and placed it on his glass eye, gently pulling it out, sal blew on the eye and dropped it in his glass of water, still looking away from travis.

"You have a glass eye?" Travis asked probably glancing at the water 

"Yeah." Sal mumbled turning around to not face travis.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours" Travis said softly. "Uh here" 

Sal turned around after a few seconds, travis had his back to him and lifted the bottom of his shirt up a bit only to see a nasty burn mark, most liking two or three degree burns. 

"Holy shit-" 

"It was a dumb thing that happened as a kid...I know it's not..as bad.. but it's something" Travis said and pulled his shirt down. 

"Travis..That's. Thank you.." when travis turned around he was staring right at sals face

Sals face was contorted. His mouth was sliced up to the bottom of his cheek revealing teeth and gums. And his right side of them looked like they had been stitched up. His nodetrialls went up half way up his nose, and the side of it was chopped off making it looked bent, his chin and cheeks looked hollowed in. A few stitches were left on a scar filled cheek, by his right eye was hollowed in and around it was scarred. Both his eyebrows were gone and only a bit of blue hair stayed. He had scar tissue covering his face. He was

"Beautiful."

"What?"

"I-I Uh I mean, that you look cool. Really cool." Travis stammered, his face turning red.

"Thanks." Sal hummed softly smiling. Travis called him beautiful. No one had ever done that. Larry called him: wicked, awesome, all that but never..beautiful.. 

"Well I'm going to uh, brush my teeth..I'll be back" He said sighing and stood up, walking out of his room and went into the bathroom. 

Sal looked in the mirror. And smiled. 

Beautiful. 

He was beautiful. He had made him feel better, normal for once.  Sal smiled and grabbed his toothbrush and started brushing his teeth, humming. He placed a hand over the gap on his mouth as he swished with water, spitting it out and dried his mouth with a towel. Sal walked out of the bathroom, sighing softly at his dad who was on the couch. Sal opened his door, but stopped when he saw travis sitting in front of his bed, arms crossed together. 

He was praying...

Sal couldn't make out what he was saying, just a few words. 'Forgive me' 'I shouldn't' 'Sorry' 

In the end he moved his hands on him in the cross symbol, wiping his eyes, sniffing and kissed his cross necklace.

Sal walked in after, closing the door after, making travis jump back turning to the door. 

"Hey its okay just me" Sal hummed and sat down next to travis, Sal finally noticed how exhausted he looked. "You look tired dude..When was the last time you slept?" Sal asked tilting his head.

"Last night..?" 

"Did you get any sleep though?"

Travis paused and looked down. 

"Hey its okay to talk about this stuff, you don't need to be perfect" Sal said gently placing a hand on travis's shoulder gently. 

"I couldn't sleep.. to many thoughts" travis mumbled finally. 

"Mmh I feel that..I have nightmares almost every night...Do you want to head to bed though?" 

"Oh yeah, where should I sleep?" 

"You can sleep on my bed with me..if that's okay?" 

Sal watched as travis's face went red and his eyes widened and he swallowed nervously. "Yeah-Yeah in sure.." he mumbled and stood up, climbing onto sals bed, scooting to the wall and pulled the blanket over him. "Is this ok?" The boy mumbled.

"Yeah that's cool, I'm going to check on gizmo I'll be back Night"

Sal walked out of the room, seeing gizmo and his dad on the couch, he gently petted Gizmo and kissed him.

"Night sal" He heard his dad say.

"Hm? Oh night dad" The boy said, walking back to his room slowly.

When he came back travis was already asleep. Sal smiled softly and layed down next to travis. He smiled softly at how peaceful he looked. His tan skin and brown roots. 

Travis Phelps being brunette. That was a imagine sal couldn't get out of his head. 

He gently brushed his hand against travis's cheek,  frowning at the purple bruise. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve any of shit that could've happened at his house. 

Sal stared at the sleeping travis, before the blue haired boy fell into a deep sleep. 

_ Sal walked into a pitch black room. He couldn't feel the walls or the floor. Even though he was walking on nothing. _ _ In front of him he saw a man growing closer and closer. And a body on the ground laying on their side? their body looked like It was covered in ropes but they were gold. The face of the boy was gone. No eyes, no nose..just a blank face...stuff. vines? He didn't know. A tear like substance dripped down where his eyes were supposed to be. Next to the boy was someone he knew "Larry?" He was the same way the other boy was. No face.  _

_ "Chose one" A voice growled from behind him making sal shiver. He didn't ask why, or who.  _

_ Sal looked at the two bodies on the ground and walked over to Larry's body confused. The man smirked, snapping his fingers. The other body erupted in green flames.  _

_ Sals eyes widened and he stood up, finally realizing who it was. It was him.  _

_ "Travis!!" He screeched, scrambling up and ran over to him, but was flown back by the flames that only grew. Sal quickly stood up, feeling a cold hand on his shoulder and turned around, his eyes widened as he saw Mr Phelps grinning madly _

_ "It's me sal. Remember?" _

_ "What?" _

_ "Its me" He growled like a dog, his skin melting away revealing a wolf. He jumped at sal, knocking him over and slashing at him. Sal screamed thrashing around. He was stuck. No no no no no _

The blueunette jumped up, his eye widening in fear. He moved his blue hair out of his face taking quick short breaths. Holy shit. 

The boy looked at the table by his bed and reached over to it. Grabbing one pill bottle and opened it, dumping a few pills down his throat. He continued to have a panic attack, normally he would call Larry but he didn't want to wake travis..He could talk to Larry tomorrow. Now all he needed to do was breathe..

Sal glanced over at travis, smiling weakly. It was amazing how relaxed he looked. His body wasn't tense, his mouth was slightly open, letting sal hear his breathing. He was so..peaceful. He should be like this forever

The boy smiled softly at that, he couldn't go back to sleep, so he stayed like that. laying down and just stared at travis until the morning came. 

At 7:27 AM Sal got up stretching, and yawned, looking next to him and frowned when no one was there. "Travis?" He asked softly looking around..did he fall asleep? He must of. Sal got up from his bed walking to his dresser and pulled out a black skull T-shirt. 

"Hey" 

A voice called behind him, sal turned around to see travis walking out of the bathroom. He had one of sals shirts on him. It was a simple grey sweater

He looked nice. 

"Sorry about wearing.." He gestured to the shirt and sal shook his head. 

"No no no you can keep it, it looks good on you" Sal said walking to the glass cup filled with water, gently taking his glass eye out, drying it with the cloth next to the cup. He walked to a mirror in his room,carefully placing it back into his eye socket. Sal turned around to see travis staring at him. 

"Sorry if that was weird.."

"Oh no it's ok, I've just never seen a glass eye being put in" He sighed and sal nodded 

"Fair point. You want you get breakfast? I think we have waffles" 

"Sure" Travis sighed and slowly walked out of the room with sal. He knew something was up with the boy..something felt off, travis offered to get the waffles but sal said he got it, telling him to sit at the table . 

Henry walked out just as sal walked with the waffles and drink for travis and him. 

"Morning dad" Sal hummed, placing waffles down for them.

"Morning Sal, " he said smiling at his sons face. He missed seeing his face. 

Sal sat down at the table and started eating the waffles, glancing up at travis every so often. Who was slowly eating them.

"So.." Henry spoke up after a few minutes of silence "How's school going?"

"Eh, Boring kinda. We still have a sub for math. I don't think are getting a new teacher anytime soon." Sal hummed and took another bite. 

"Hm..Travis how's school for you?" He asked

"Oh, its going good, I have a B in science so I need to bring it up" 

"A B? Heck that's really good!" 

"Not to my father" Travis mumbled taking a sip of water. "He wants me to have all A's" 

"Oh, Well don't think you need to travis. Getting a B is still really good. You should be proud of yourself" 

Sal watched as a smile grew on travis's face and he looked down again eating more of his food. 

They finished breakfast, Sal throwing out travis's unfinished food and walked to his room again, where travis was sitting. 

"So how's your face?" Sal asked and travis shrugged 

"Still stings, but other then that I'm used to it" 

Sal frowned at that..Should he ask? No. It may panic travis..

"You shouldn't be used to it, you know" He said gently, travis looked at sal with sad eyes, glancing down. 

"Its fine. I should be getting home soon anyways..I'm going to use the bathroom first" He said standing up. Sal watched him leave and he hummed to himself, smiling as gizmo jumped up on the bed. 

A knock on the door made sal look up, frowning as he heard voices. 

He stood up, grabbing his prosthetic and slipping it on, before leaving his room. His eye widened as he saw 

Mr Phelps sitting on the couch, fixing his tie and hummed

_ What the fuck?! _

He looked over at his dad who was walking to his room. "Dad-!" He whispered over at him, walking to him.

"What's he doing here?" Sal asked his dad. Henry signed softly and gently pulled him away to his own room closing the door.

"I called him sal"

"Dad!"

"Sal his son came here covered in bruises and bleeding While he was out of town. I called him last night."

"Where was he at?!" 

"At a meeting Sal. Out of town. He came here as soon as he could because he was worried." 

Sal crossed his arms frowning "mh sure.." He mumbled. 

"Sal..Just get travis okay?" Henry sighed rubbing his forehead. 

Sal rolled his eyes and opened the door, walking back to his room hearing people talking. He walked into his room again, seeing travis play with gizmo, laughing. 

"Your dad is here" Sal spoke and watched as travis froze.

"I'm sorry what-" 

Sal sighed and walked to sal sitting next to him. "Yeah my dad called him. Call me if you need to get away ok?"

Travis nodded quickly "I will. Thanks for having me" Travis mumbled, standing up and walked out of sals room, looking a his dad.

Sal frowned under his prosthetic watching Travis's dad stand up. He looked furious, but at the same time relieved..

"Travis thank the lord you're ok!" He said walking up to travis, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

"I am sorry if my son caused any trouble while he was here. You should apologize travis." Mr Phelps said looking at Sal and his dad. 

"Oh y-yeah im-im sorry..." He stammered softly looking down, but moved his head up again when he felt his dad's grip on his shoulder tightened. His eyes had pure terror on them. Something sal noticed more of.

Sal narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms as travis and his dad left. "Sorry for my language dad but I fucking hate his dad" Sal growled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the tags for the next chapter. It will get really dark!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a chapter

GUESS WHOS GOING AS SAL FISHER TO A CON THIS WEEKEND!!!! IM SO EXCITED AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

MY FRIEND IS GOING AS LARRY BUT ALL THE SHIRTS ARE GOING TO BE ORDERED IN LATE SO WE ARE MAKING A CHEAP LARRYS SHIRT


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not agree with this at all. It will be inappropriate touching, and implied sexual abuse and rape. It's a dark chapter. There is hardly any happy paragraphs here, but If sexual harassment triggers you in away I would advise you to not read this chapter. This is an important chapter though so if you want to know what happened just comment and I can give a quick explanation without any triggering things! Stay safe out there

It was now Sunday again. Travis sat down in a seat as he listened to his dad talk about homosexuality. 

"Anyone who ever engages in homosexuality should be ashamed, as they are committing great sins against God Almighty. If you enable, support, condone, legislate for or attempt to legitimize that sin, you should be ashamed. It was your ilk who brought destruction on Sodom, and it will be your ilk who fuels God's wrath to the point that there will.."

Travis started zoning out. He couldn't stop thinking about Sal. His blue hair..did he dye that? Doesn't matter, Travis remembered every detail on Sal's face. He was beautiful.

"-may seem to you that we focus only on homosexuality because we are the only ones really visibly and vocally opposed to the legitimizing of that filthy, abominable sin, out of obedience to God."

Travis sighed and fixed his shirt, straightening it out. His dad talked for about ten minutes before Church was over. 

Travis glanced over at todd, his eyes narrowed. The f*ggot thinks he could go to church? His that would be furious if He found out todd was gay. Travis watched as people talked for a few minutes, before trickling out. 

"Travis. Go help Father Joseph. He still needs help moving back to his office." His dad said grabbing a book from the altar and moving it to a bookshelf "Now."

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

"Ye-Yes father." The boy said standing up and walked. To Joseph, looking over at Todd who had an annoyed look on his face

"Thank you so much travis." Joseph hummed, placing a hand on the boys shoulder. Travis filched back, leaning away from him as he rubbed his thumb over his shoulder. As they started walking back to the office travis looked over to where todd was. Who had a confused look on his face before walking out. They entered a room travis knew all too well . There were paintings of god, a sofa, a desk. Joseph's office. 

"You're so handsome." The older man hummed, as they sat down on the couch sitting next to travis and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, rubbing it. 

"You've been through so much travis, with your dad and mom, I'm so glad you told me about him last week. What he does to you..You know I've missed our chats. I just love seeing you again. " The man said pulling travis even closer to him humming.

"Beating your own kid..what a shame you know? I can't believe he does that to you..But you know I will never do that..We are showing love to god, Now take off your shirt for me Trav. Just like the game we play"

The younger boy swallowed and nodded staying quiet. He couldn't talk. He never talked. This had started up again after years of nothing. It stopped when he was nine, then last week it happening again. He pulled off his shirt, and then undershirt feeling ashamed once again. 

"Remember what we said travis...do you still remember that?" he said as he unbuckled his own belt then travis's

"Don't tell anyone..." the boy whimpered, fighting tears back. 

He nodded "And?" He asked as he slid a hand down travis's pants again.

Travis stiffened and closed his eyes. His breathing increase. It'll be over soon."It's not a sin because you are a priest. One with god"

"Good."

He shut his eyes as he felt the man move his hand, pleasuring himself. 

Travis let a few tears drop down even though he knew he shouldn't. A few moments later his hand released travis and started moving both hands around his tan body just like he did multiple times, years ago.. "You look handsome travis. Even with these bruises and scars.. You really should eat more you know. You are looking really unhealthy. Are you hungry?"

"A little- y-yeah"Travis held is breath as he talked, feeling the man's hand roam his skin. Suddenly the hands stopped and travis watched as he stood up. A few seconds later he brought back some younger and placed it on the table. 

"You can have that after." He said smiling. 

This is just a game. 

This is just a game

Just a game.

Breathe 

  
  


In

  
  


Hold

Out

He felt himself gently being pushed down on the couch. 

Breath

In 

Hold

out

He felt the man start to kiss him forcing his tongue in. It was disgusting. 

Breath

In 

Hold

Out

He heard a zipper.

_The Holy Bible_   
_Property of Travis Phelps_   
_~~Travis Phelps secret journal~~ _   
_  
February_   
_Father Joseph forced himself on me today. But father always says men can't be raped. I don't know if it even was that. Something did happened I think I passed out. Probably of fear... He kept telling me it wasn't a sin because he was a priest, It still feels wrong. I need to pray to pray to god to forgive me. I need to cleanse myself. I want to scream and cry. I don't know why this keeps happening to me. Why does god keep doing this to me is this punishment for being a homosexual? I want to rip myself open. Everything hurts. I want to end my life and suicide is sending me to hell but I don't care anyways I'm burning no matter what. I cant keep doing this why does all this shit happen to me_ ~~I CAN'T TAKE IT JUST KILL ME GOD I'VE PRAYED TO YOU FOR YEARS TO END MY SUFFERING AND YOU NEVER ANSWER ME WHY DON'T YOU I'M SORRY I REPENT I REPENT EVERYTHING JUST KILL ME MAKE ME SCREAM AND CRY IN A PAINFUL DEATH JUST MAKE ME DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE~~

Travis scribbled the bottom part of it out and let out a scream and gripped his head sobbing. He grabbed his book, ripping out that page and then other pages, He threw the hardcover book to the wall. He turned to the front of his bed and punched the wall, leaving a hole. It hurt like hell but he didnt care. His door was locked anyways so his dad couldn't storm in. He covered his mouth and shut his eyes, collapsing on his bed wheezing. He cried, and cried, and cried and sobbed. He felt dead numb that night. Everything hurt. 

He had slashed his skin that night, throwing up every single drop of food he ate that day until all that was left was his salvia. He felt gross. Violated. He wanted to pull everything out of him. He couldn't take it. His dad, Joseph. Sal. Everything was too much for him to take. He couldn't do it anymore. It felt so easy for him to just end it. But he was too much of a coward to do so. He didn't care anymore. Get in a fight? Doesn't matter. 

_ "Travis, isn't it fun?" _

_ "Huh?" _

_ "This game. It's fun right?" The man asked. He didn't understand what was happening. How could an 8 year old know? Once it was over he hummed, looking over at the boy standing still. _

_ "Thanks for your help travis...But let's not tell anyone about this okay? This is our little game"  _

_ "O-ok." He said swallowing nervously  _

_ Joseph hummed leaving his office "I may need help again soon. I'll let you know" _

_ ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ _

Travis walked down the hall with dark heavy bags under his eyes, along with jeans. His hair was a mess, unlike other days were it would be slick back.

Sal frowned as Travis walked passed him, closing his locker "Travis?" He asked concerned "Are you okay?" 

The now newly dyed hair boy paused and turned to look at Sal, his eyes were red. "What do you think?" He said his voice growling before storming off. 

"For ch-Can you leave me alone?" 

"Your face though.." 

"What about it?!" He yelled and walked past her, hitting her in the shoulder. He got to his English class and sat down in his seat thoughts cluttered his head. He couldn't think. He didn't even process what was happening in the world

_ What would happen if you kill yourself? _

_ Hanging would be easy to do.  _

_ No one would miss you. _

"Travis are you listening?" 

He imagined himself walking to a river, looking at it before jumping in, forcing himself underwater until he was gagging but he didnt stop. He stayed under.

"Travis!" 

He flinched back, coming out of his thoughts "Uh?"

"What's the theme of the story?" 

Travis paused before looking at his textbook "Um..."

"Next time you need to focus. You are top distracted. Do you want me to call your father here? Honestly travis you used to be my best student and now your failing my class what happened?"

How about you shut up bitch" He growled at her looking down, the whole class fell silent and stared at him. Todd narrowing his eyes at travis

"Excuse me?" The English teacher asked frowning and crossed her arms

"You heard me. I said shut the fuck up bitch" He said looking up at her. 

"I-Go to the principals!" She yelled again.

He rolled his eyes, clenching his fists "Fuck you! You Whore!" He screamed standing up and slammed his hand on the desk. "Fuck all of you! Fucking assholes!" 

"Travis! Now!" 

He walked out of the class, slamming the door behind him

Like bull he was going to the principals. Where they going to call his dad? Definitely.

Was he going to be pissed? Oh hell yes

Did travis care about being beaten by him? No.

He deserved everything that happened. 

He stormed into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He clenched his fists and slammed them over and again on the tile of the sink till they were bloody. He hated this. He hated this feeling. This numbness. He hated he loved sal. He loved sal.

"Shut up!" He screamed at himself gripping his head, and then let out a scream of his own. He couldn't do this. Travis stormed into one of the stalls closing it but not locking it.

* * *

"Can I use the bathroom?" Larry asked leaning back sighing 

"Uh yeah go ahead" The math sub said sighing.

Larry stood up and walked into the bathroom, taking a deep breath before, pulling out some weed but stopped as he noticed blood on the sink.

"The fuck?" He mumbled walking to it and shoved the weed back looking at the stall as he heard quiet sobs and the smell of vomit. 

"Fucking cornballs" Larry said his eyes widening as he opened the stall door, travis on the ground. Gripping the sides of the toilet with one hand and using his other to shove down his throat causing him to vomit in the toilet. The boy was sobbing and flushed the toilet, wiping his mouth. The bottom of his shirt and arms was smeared in blood a few spots.

"Holy shit what happened to you-" He said his stomach queasy, Travis made himself throw up..could he? No

No way. This is travis Phelps. The feared bully who was now..crying in a stall, his hands bloody..He was expected a curse, a scream and a threat but all he got was a plea from him

"Just..go away....Please.." The boy whimpered glancing down. He was shaking. 

That was..weird. 

Larry sighed and placed a hand on the boys shoulder making him flinch back hard, pushing Larry away "Dont touch me!" He growled pulling a fist up, he shakely lowered it his mouth quivering. 

"What the fuck happened.?" Larry asked, crouching in front at travis, being slow as possible. Whatever did happen, he didn't want to spook the boy more. What he did notice were faded bruises on his neck.

"I cant..I can't tell you" Travis whimpered, sniffing, pulling his legs up to his chest

"Fair, could you tell sal?" He asked gently, and travis sniffed, shaking his head 

"No. I can't. I can't tell anyone.He-he told me-"

He? "Woah wait who told you?" Larry asked, confused and worried now.

"Shit-no. No I can't tell you.."

"But why did he tell you not to? Who did?" He asked more firmly

"I-i cant..."

Larry sighed and crossed his knees looking at travis. He looked completely broken. He was still an ass and Larry didn't forgive him. But something was wrong. The bruises everyday since elementary..incidents in middle school.. him passing out in P.E... Now this...No one deserved this

"Come over tonight. Addison apartments, you can use my card to get to the basement my room. Sals going to be there as well. I still hate your guts but sal likes you or whatever" he said pulling out an old dirty card. 

"ok...." He said quietly looking down and took it from Larry. "I cant stay for long though. Father would kill me" 

"That's ok. You're going to stay here for now?" 

Travis just nodded in response. 

"Hmm okay" Larry sighed and stood up "I skip fifth period every day If you need a break or something I'll be in the courtyard..And I think you should see the nurse about your hands."

His eyes widened and he looked up "what-"

"They look bloody and bruised.if you want to punch something you can try your. Backpack or pillow. ." He said with pity.

Travis nodded and shakily stood up "yeah.."

"I've heard after you throw up crackers can help. So..um here" larry said digging in his pocket and pulled out an open cheez-its bag "I hope this is okay" He said handing it to travis.

"Yeah..um..thanks.." He mumbled and slowly started to eat them.

Larry smiled softly, "Uh ok bye.." Larry said as walked out of the bathroom and back into the classroom, sitting in his seat again. He was silent the rest of class and some of lunch as well. 

"Hey you okay?" Ash said looking at Larry 

"Yeah yeah just something happened that shook me up" Larry said poking the moldy pizza, before throwing it away.

"Did it have to do with travis?" Todd asked making sal look up

"Yeah? Did something happen in class?" 

"He we zoning out, the teacher yelled at him and travis snapped at her calling her a whore and us assholes before storming off...How was he?"

"Jesus christ. But I dont think it's my place to say. He was just a mess" He said sighing looking at sal "But he's coming to our place again after school" 

"Cool" Sal said buckling the bottom strap of his prosthetic. 

The group talked more until lunch was over. It was now Larry's smoke break. He snuck out to the court yard as the bell rang grinning as he saw travis looking around 

"Ay you came!" Larry said smirking at travis.

Travis stared into the distance, like he was unaware of Larry. He looked like he wasn't there, like he was staring off into space.

"Travis?" Larry asked waving his hand in front of the boy frowning 

"Oh sorry Uh..I spaced out" travis mumbled and leaned on the wall, taking a deep breath. 

"Look. You're still shit and I'm not forgiving you about hurting Sal okay?" Larry spoke up and pulled out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. He brought the cigarette up to his mouth and then the lighter, lighting it. 

"I used to like to sing" Travis spoke up out of nowhere, 

Larry looked at travis frowning but didn't speak

"When my mom was still living with us we'd both sing for church, but after she left my father told me I should stop singing because I would remind him of her" He said shrugging "Plus he told me that my singing voice reminded him of f*gs. Saying only little boys could sing"

"Ok one, fuck your dad. But thought your mom died?" Larry asked raking out the cigarette remembering the funeral was all over the local news. 

"No. She didn't. I don't believe it for a second. She is still alive somewhere." 

Larry frowned softly, placing it back in his mouth and blew in. She did die. Travis probably still doesnt believe it..

"I'm sorry dude-"

"Just give me the fucking cigarette." He mumbled thrusting his hand out

Larry handed it to travis, and then handed him the lighter. 

Travis put it in his mouth, and lit it. Blowing smoke out, instant relief ran through him. 

"You okay dude?" Larry asked blowing in.

"I'm fine."

"Who knew travis Phelps would go bad? Heh"

"I'm not going bad. I've smoked before with Philip."

After a few seconds of silence travis spoke up again "this is peaceful" He hummed looking at the tree that had a bird's nest in it.

"Yep. It is peaceful.." Larry sighed before turning to travis "Hey. I know this is kinda personal but, My cousin is like a therapist and specializes in eating disorders I could call him up or something? If you need to talk about it...." 

He watched as travis froze before sighing and blew out again. "Yeah...I guess? But I don't...Uh yeah..that would be..nice...really nice"

"Hey you don't need to be ashamed of having one you know" Larry said looking at travis with an enduring smile 

"I know. I just don't want to talk about it." They stayed out there for the class period, not talking a lot, but just taking everything in.   


* * *

Travis knocked on Larry's door, it was now 4:26 pm and travis had snuck out after his dad got mad about what happened at school with him, thankfully nothing could be seen. He didn't give a shit anymore. 

"Travis hey?"

He shook his head and looked at the open door and Larry staring at him

"Sorry" He mumbled and walked inside, looking at Sal on Larry's bed. 

"You paint?" He asked looking at a painting of a shadow, a sketch of puppet strings holding it up. 

"Hell yeah. Want some weed?" Larry asked sitting next to Sally who had his bottom strap unclipped and was smoking weed.

"Don't have to much though, not want you getting high" Sal chimed in.

"I want to get high though" Travis said and sat down on a bean bag, wincing in pain from his side.

"Uhh ok then," Larry said and grabbed some premade weed in a cigarette and handed it to travis, who took and blew into it quickly. 

The three boys talked, mainly sal and Larry. Travis kept zoning out, he kept thinking about how he would kill himself. Imagines played step by step in his mind. His dad flashed in his head. He flashed in his head. 

Travis threw the weed away and stood up. "I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be back" He said and walked out of Larry's room and into the. Bathroom. He locked the door taking a deep breath while sitting on the toilet. His while body was shaking, he could feel his ghost touch all over him. He leaned down placing his head on his hands and let tears roll down his face. 

A knock jumped him out of his thoughts and he looked up "Y-yeah?" He whimpered

"Hey uh Its sal, just checking on you. You've been in here for a while."

"Oh yeah I'm fine" He said flushing the toilet and washed his hands. The blonde haired boy dried his eyes before opening the door. Thankfully since he was having weed, red eyes wasn't a big concern. 

"Travis-"

He rolled his eyes walking past the bluenette and back into Larry's room. "I probably need to go soon. Cant be late for dinner" 

"You can go now if you want" Larry said breathing in the smoke, 

Travis shrugged and nodded "If that's ok, uh yeah. Just hang on"

Travis took of his cross necklace, humming to himself. He had plenty at home, but this one was special to him..His mom gave it to him...He wouldn't need it. 

"I'm not going to need it anymore" He said looking around "Sal I want you to have it" he said handing it to him, Who looked confused. 

"Oh. Well..uh thanks.." 

"No problem. Bye sally face. Larry" he said standing up, rubbing his eyes and dug in his pocket. Handing Larry his key card again, before walking out of the room and building. He couldn't keep doing anymore. He didn't see the point of being here.

"Larry something is wrong" Sal spoke up a few minutes after travis left. He had his necklace now on him

"What?" 

"I tried to commit suicide in the past. You know that right?" He spoke sitting next to Larry.

"Yeah..?"

" I'm getting the help I need. I know for a fact travis isn't." 

"You think he's going to.."

"I think he is.. He said he wouldn't need this" He said holding up travis's cross. 

"Oh shit.." 

"I don't know his situation at home, his dad probably beats him honestly, makes sense with all the bruises..But he's definitely not getting help. The signs are there. Resorting to drugs or cigarettes...Not caring about anything, giving up basically...doing stuff to himself Has he done anything out of the ordinary?" 

"No..."

"Larry. Please."

"Fine ugh, this morning his hands were bruised and bleeding...And um he has an eating disorder.." 

"What?" Sal asked taking the top of his mask off, larry being one of the only other people who's seen his face.

"I figured it out this morning. He was uh making himself throw up.."

"It makes so much sense Jesus christ why didn't I see that all the signs were there I had one for God's sake" Sal said whining. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"He passed out during gym a few weeks ago, I don't see him eating lunch anymore, well no one eats lunch anymore but when he came over to my place he hardly ate anything, and used the bathroom a lot, and used the excuse he wasn't hanging And last year he wasn't eating a lot of food, it probably got worse this year." 

The boys fell silent again before Sal spoke

"We need to keep an eye on him. I know suicidal behavior. And he's steaming off it Larry."

"We need to tell someone Sal."

"I know.." 

"But we cant tell the adults.."

"Yeah...dad and lisa would call the cops or something"

"But..we can see how he is tomorrow?"

"Yeah..yeah Tomorrow"

Travis was going to kill himself in exactly four days. In the church. He was done. He couldn't take it anymore. No one will stop him. Not even god himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter


	12. Chapter 12

Travis rubbed his neck as he did his homework. Let's just say Mr. Phelps wasn't so happy when he got back home. He signed and placed it aside. His stomach growling for food. The boy stood up and walked to his bed grabbing the cheez-its Larry gave him. There were a few left but still some. Travis sat down and ate them slowly, staring at the wall. He still felt numb and decided to cut again that night. He couldn't think. Being alive felt more exhausting every day. 

Travis tried to sleep, he really did but he couldn't get him out of his head. Something did happen. Even though he was passed out, when he came to he had that unsettling feeling, and he was naked. Only a blanket covered him. 

All he did that night was curl up into a ball. How pathetic he was. 

The next morning was friday. His last day ever at school. Maybe even to see Sal..No. this wouldn't be the last time. He would be sure of it. Sal felt like the only reason to live. 

The boy sat up from his bed and swung his legs to the side taking a deep breath. He slowly got up and walked into the bathroom. Travis looked at himself in the mirror. Pulling his shirt off and threw it on the ground.

He ran his hands over his own body, gliding over his bruises and scars on him before undressing completely. He walked to the shower and turned the water on stepping into the hot shower, not washing himself, just standing there. He didn't feel like he could move. He had no energy to wash himself. Years of abuse from his father couldn't break him. But one act from a man who had power over him could in thirty minutes. 

He stepped out of the shower turning it off and grabbed an old purple sweater throwing it on him. Then a jacket. Then his boxers and then sweatpants. He washed his hands, and changed his bandages on his arms and thighs. Lifting his shirt up and wrapping a cloth around his scars. 

"You're a sinner travis" He mumbled to himself before walking out of his bathroom and closed the door.

"Travis."

die. Do it. It would be so easy. You have blades already. Imagine. You walking to the bathroom, bleeding out. You want it painful don't you? Dig deeper. 

"Are you even listening to me boy?"

Die. Deeper travis. Dig deeper. Bleed out. Do it.

"Travis!" 

Fucking die you demon.

Travis stood still as his dad slapped him for not paying attention, screaming and him for now being late to school, which led to his dad making travis walk in the rain as punishment. 

"whatever." He mumbled as he walked out of his house, the rain pouring hard. "You won't have to deal with this anymore after today travis" He said pulling this hoodie up. 

When you care for someone so much you see the small things. The changes. Small ones. 

Sal noticed the changes in travis. His downfall through highschool. Freshman year all the way to junior year. It seemed like he couldn't get worse but the next day came and there the boy was. 

Sal watched as travis walked into the school soaking wet. His head hung low. He had a limp. It was small. No would notice it. But sal did. He noticed everything. "Hey did something happen to travis?" Sal heard Ash ask.

"We asked if he could come over after school, I'm thinking his dad got mad. He needs to get help, he told me some personal stuff a while ago"

"Oh..."

The bell rang for class and Sal went to science with travis, sitting in the seat next to him. He frowned as he saw travis walk in and sat at his desk, laying his head down. 

As time went on Sal realized. Travis was sleeping in class. A first for him..

The sub didn't bother to wake the boy up, and let him sleep for the class. 

"Travis!" He called after the bell rang, but travis didn't turn around and kept walking.

Travis walked into the bathroom again, walking to the sink and took a few deep breaths. He couldn't tell sal. Not now. God he made his heart spin. 

Sal was his will to live. His only reason he hasn't died already. He knew sal wouldn't like him back, but that feeling of love never left travis.

He sighed and pulled His shirt up, checking his stomach making sure nothing bleed through. 

"Travis-!" 

A voice called from behind him and the boy pulled his shirt down quickly, turning around to see that Todd had eyes widening "You need to see someone thats-Holy shit.." 

Of course he had to show up. Out of all people and time he had to be here. 

"Fuck off." He growled walking pass Todd, but was stopped by him grabbing travis's arm, travis hissed. 

"What happened." 

"Nothing."

"Then show me" he said crossing his arms. 

"What?"

"Show me then. If its nothing."

Travis sighed deaftedly and turned around pulling his shirt up a little. 

"Jesus christ Travis.. " He mumbled stopping at what seemed to the bottom of a scar and a bad burn. Then something clicked for him.

You need to tell someone about this. If not I'll tell them."

Travis pulled his shirt down and looked at Todd his eyes widened. "T-Todd no- that's not-please no-no-" The boy stammered grabbing todd's arm "You can't. Please."

Todd pulled away "This is serious travis."

"I- I know but you can't-You can't tell anyone this please."

"Travis your back was covered in bruises. And scars? But I can not..not tell someone."

Todd please-No-" He said even more worried pulling away shaking.

"A trusted adult?" Todd asked worriedly. This was serious. 

Travis sniffed, biting his lip and took a deep breath "Sals dad. Only his dad"

"Alright. I can talk to sal tonight, does he know?"

"N-no..He doesn't know its..that bad" he said blinking back tears. 

Todd adjusted his glasses and walked closer to todd in a hushed voice. "Does your dad hit you travis." 

His eyes were stunned. Travis couldn't move. Should he say this? Should he finally tell someone. Maybe since him and todd were both gay there was that secret bond of trust..

Bull shit travis. He'll use it against you. Why trust him? He doesn't care for you. Hell he'll use you travis. 

**He'll use you!**

**HE'LL USE YOU**

**HE'LL USE YOU TRAVIS**

**HE'LL USE YOU LIKE THEY ALL DO**

"Travis?"

"Hm?" He asked blinking at looked at Todd. 

"Does your dad hit you?" He asked again frowning

Travis took a deep breath, going against his mind screaming at him.

"Y-yeah..He uh does he does hit me" Travis said suddenly tears falling down his cheeks "Sh-shit I'm sorry" He wiped his eyes sniffing.

"Its ok..."

"I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible person. I'm sorry for calling you all those things- I'm so sorry" He said sobbing, hugged him and sighed

"I know travis. I know your sorry." He said softly. "I forgive you..."

After a few seconds of silence travis spoke up. "i'-im gay." Travis said suddenly. He did not know why, maybe because he knew todd was?

Todd pulled away and looked at travis sadly and smiled "I had a feeling for a while..with all the insults and getting defensive when people think you are gay"

"I feel so-evil though, I know-I know it's a sin and I don't know why I even chose-To be gay I want to be straight" travis said hiccuping, wiping his eyes.

"Travis. It's not a sin. It's not wrong. It's okay to be gay. Don't try to hide it. Trust me. And you didn't choose it.. it's ok"

Travis sniffed again and walked to the wall, leaning on it sniffing. "I don't know why I even said that..oh-Oh my God. Why-Why did I say that holy shit-" He said is eyes widening and he covered his mouth. 

Todd didn't say anything and walked over to Travis, sitting next to him. Letting him cry everything out.

"Skip today with me." Todd said after five minutes. 

"What?" 

"I can get out of class and school easy. I can just tell them that you are allowed to come with me because I'm tutoring you. And that for the moment learning one on one is better." He said shrugging and smiling "Your dad won't find out about it. Trust me" 

Travis took a deep breath in and nodded "um yeah..yeah let's do that.. could we just stay here for a little?" 

"Of course." 

Travis slowly slid down the wall, todd following what he did. "When did you find out you were gay..?" Travis asked looking Todd

"Well I always, I was always gay and had crushes on guys but it wasn't until I was in seventh grade? Or eighth. I heard my parents talking about how men could like men and I realized holy shit that was me" He said chuckling and smiled "How about you?"

"Well...um, I thought I was straight, just not getting crushes on girls, ive..I've thing I had a crush on another guy in the past but didnt think anything of it because I didn't know what gay ment...you go to church. You know how my father talks."

"Yeah.." Todd said sighing "Got a crush?"

"I...um...Not here. I cant tell you here."

Todd nodded smiling "Wanna go now?"

"Yeah.."

* * *

"In June there is a pride parade four hours from here" Todd spoke up laying on the grass.

"We're going. Me, neil, sal, larry and ash. You should come"

"I don't want to be out to them.."

"That's fine I understand, you could come in support for me?" 

"I couldn't."

'Oh?"

"Bible summer camp. D-father makes me go every summer. I go june third all the way to August 10th"

Todd grinned and sat up "Well this parade is the second day.."

Travis stared at him for a few seconds, a grin spreading along his face. "O-oh..oh! Holy shit!" He said laughing and wiped his eyes "I-Im going to a parade..Oh my god!" 

Todd smiled softly at the boy grinning. 

Then it occurred to him that this was the first time he had seen him smile for a long time. It was nice. And was genuine. The last time he truly saw a smile was maybe sophomore year, but it didn't feel like a real smile. 

Todd leaned back down, smiling "Anytime travis. And you can always talk to me"

"That's what Sal told me.." 

"Well it's true.. We do care"

He looked down biting his lip, "I dont get why..how can you and sal just forget and forgive?"

"Well.." he paused "No one is born racist or homophobic travis..I know you called me horrible slurs and for that I cant forgive you, but I know why you are like that now. You can change travis. You already are."

Travis took a shaky breath and nodded "thanks.." 

"Anytime travis." 

The two boys were silent for a while, both talking a little bit about school, travis taking a small bit about him being gay..Todd was telling him how he could always talk to his parents, because they were the most accepting parents.

It was around noon when Todd said they should head back to the school. "We should get back" Todd said standing up, travis followed him

"Uh yeah.." He mumbled scratching his arms, hissing slightly and bit his lip. Todd took note of that. 

They walked back to school in silence. Not even a single word. Once they got inside Todd gave them a slip he had premade, which the office lady took and let them back inside the school

"Well it was nice talking to you Travis"

"Same goes for you todd." He said walking to his classroom, taking a deep breath "I like Sal by the way..."

He said smiling weakly before walking into the school again 

Today may just be a good day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't wanna self promote but uhh you should check out my Sally Face Social Media AU on Instagram


	13. Chapter 13

**_Sal._ **   
**_Hey. This is going to be confusing coming from someone like me. Who would ever think the perfect son would be writing a suicide note It wont matter tomorrow. I didnt know that I would never get a chance to be with you. I want to be with you. I'm in love with you Sal. That note you found a while ago. That was mine. It was for you. I should feel shame writing this. I still do, but also I feel in control as well. I'm sorry I was a jerk to you. I know you can never forgive me and how I laughed when I cut a part of your hair off. I'm sorry. You dont need to forgive me, I wouldn't forgive myself. I'm sorry I hardly showed myself to you. I'm sorry for everything I did. It won't matter anymore. Nothing will matter. I will be sent to hell today. The devil himself will torture me. I deserve it for being the reason my dad beat me. ~~For him to break me~~. I'm sorry Sal. I want to scream and cry I know it's wrong for me to love a boy but I cant stop doing it. I hope you are happy and have a wonderful life sal. I really mean it. I want _ **   
**_you to be happy. I want you to leave this town and be happy. Start a band! Do something with your life. Dont be scared. Live before it's to late. I'm sorry. Goodbye. I love you Sal._ **   
**_-Travis Phelps_ **

"Travis..oh..oh god." 


	14. Chapter 14

"Its ok child" the one in robes spoke, "Come here"

The child walked over to the man in robes, looking at the familiar face. He was scared.

"Now hold out your hand"

The little kid did just that, frowning when he was told to bite down on a cloth.

The child screamed when a knife started digging in his palm, his hand moved to let his, blood drip down and into a small jar.

The boy cired during it. The man growled at him to stop crying  
A women soon rushed over to him, soothing him and helped clean his wound carefully. Giving him kisses.

"This ritual should be banned. Its barbaric" The women spoke.

"Its the oldest but most effective. We will now need a sacrifice."

"Its murder."

"If you think that then you should be the sacrifice"

"...."

"Good choice"

* * *

  
The young teen bit down on a belt, shutting his eyes as a hot blade circled his back. Dont cry. You're not a baby anymore.

He remembered that.

His back burned like hell, and he tightened his grip on the stone heaving. It felt like something was being torn off of him. The pain was unbearable, it hurt. Oh God did it hurt, and soon he passed out from the pain   
The next day he woke in his bed. Remembering everything that happened.   
The ritual went well.   
So did the sacrifice. The teen would miss his ~~**_close_**~~ friend but that taught him a lesson. Never get to close with anyone ever again. Don't trust anyone.

* * *

The now older teen sat in the bathroom, looking at the markings on his dark skinned arms. If he didnt do this people would assume it would be church marks. He wouldn't let them see. They haven't had a ritual in months. Something was off...the boy could tell.  
The teen sighed, silently slipping the pocket knife in his pocket. 

The boy remembered suddenly that no one goes to the old church shed

"Travis! Get your ass down here! Were going to be late!"

"Yes sir!"

It was time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all leading up..


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW!! Suicidal thoughts and suicide attempt!!

Nothing felt real anymore.

Travis wiped the blood dripping from his nose, laughing to himself at his desk, Those laughs quickly turned into sobs that shook the boy's body violently. He gripped his hair wheezing pulling at it and hitting his own head with his hands hard screaming at himself.   
Thank god his dad wasn't here.

"Travis" A voice called that made travis freeze. That sounded like..

"Travis"

His mom.

The boy wiped his eyes and spun around. Looking to see body to that voice, but the only thing he saw was a weird fleshly thing sink into the ground.

He was going insane.

There was no doubt about it. Travis stood up, picking up his desk chair and threw it at his wall, collapsing on the ground laughing and gripped his hair again. He shakenly joined his hands together after an hour heaving as he started to pray, begging the lord to take this pain away.

But the pain never left.

The rest of the week went by good suprisly. But sunday came along. He felt Alone.  
Hopeless   
Feeling like nothing  
He didn't know what happened. Nothing huge did. He just sank back down to a dark place.   
And his dad wasn't helping a bit.   
On Wednesday his dad went about saying that travis needed to stop being an emotional girl and that if he didnt stop he would get the rod again. The "holy" rod he said.   
On Saturday night he wrote his suicide note. And walked all the way to the apartments, reminding what room Sal was in and placed the letter in the slot. Sal would see it tommorow. Travis would be at church by then.

Travis opend his journal, pages of pages filled with his emotions and memories. He wouldn't need it anymore. He flipped through the pages, scanning through it. Everything was down here. There were even moments he wrote about before Sal got here.

He stood up, grabbing the journal as well and walked to his window, pulling it open and let the cold breeze in. He gripped the book before throwing it out of the window and on the doggy damp ground. He didnt care anymore. Nothing mattered to him. Punch a wall again? His dad was still pissed about the last time.. Doesn't matter. He won't care if he gets beaten to death.

He walked into the bathroom slowly and looked on the counter at the outfit for church.

The outfit. That stupid evil outfit. The remember of what had happened. He looked at himself in the mirror. Today was the day.  
He carefully undressed, looking at his body in the mirror. It scared travis for a second. He couldn't recognize the boy in the mirror.. That was him..?   
He had heavy bags under his eyes, and his eyes seemed dead. His cheeks were howled in, and some stray hairs he could pull out of his head. He noticed his skin was super dry as well..  
He ran his hands across his chest, hitching his breath as he felt the bottom of his rib. He had lost that much weight?

Bruises covered his body, ranging from blue to yellow. Ranging in size and shape as well.  
He didn't dare look at his back.

Travis starred at the lines on his arms and stomach, He knew it was bad but he needed it. He needed to feel pain.

A few moments later he put the suit on him, taking deep breaths. He felt disgusted in this.

"Travis! I need you to grab my bible from my room!"  
"Now!"

The boy sighed and walked out of the bathroom and into his dads room. He looked around for the book, leaning down to get under the bed to feel around. Instead of finding the book he felt something else.

A gun. A handgun

He looked over at the gun. Not checking if it was loaded or not and carefully picked it up. 

_**Take it.** _   
_**Do it. Make sure you fucking stay dead.** _

He took its hiding it in his back pocket.  
The boy turned around walking to the desk and grabbed the bible.  
Travis walked out of his dads room and downstairs, looking at his father sitting down and reading the newspaper, passing the book to.him

"Finally." His dad growled and set the paper down, standing up and grabbed the book walking over to travis "I'm sorry if I've been harsh on you. The church needs me more. Soon itll be youre time boy. I hope you know that"

"Yes sir.."

Smack

"Don't you dare look down at me"

Travis glanced up at his dad, his fist curled. "I'm sorry" Travis said clearly. Mr. Phelps hummed in response. "Let's go" he said and started walking to the door. Travis followed him like a dog on a leash.

* * *

Travis placed the bible on the stand and sighed walking off of the platform

"Hey travis!"

The boy spin around and frowned when he saw Todd and Ash. He looked around and then walked over to them.  
"What." He said softly. His usual harsh growl was gone and replaced with...nothing. he had no emotion to his voice.

"What? Can we not come to church anymore?" Ash laughed to herself, shutting up when she saw travis staring at a wall between them, not moving. "You seem..not as rude today, are you ok?" Ash said slowly.

Todd turn around to see what travis was looking at, all he saw was a wall and a older man walking past.

"Hey" Todd said turning back around frowning before waving a hand infort of travis.

He pulled back and blinked, looking confused "Huh?"

"You were spacing out. You good?" Todd asked with a concerned look on his face. "We're getting worried about you. You know we care for you right?I"

"Why bother caring? I'm fi-"

"Travis." A voice growled from behind him.

The boy flinched when a hand lowered on his shoulder.

"Whatcha doing there buddy?"

"talking to my class-classmates" He stammered through, but his face had no emotion on it.

"I see...hm. im sorry if he was bothering you two, apologize travis."

"I'm sorry.." Travis said, his eyes glancing down, Todd noticed the boy's eyes looked dull.

"He wasn't bothering us Sir" Todd said.

"But you are..." Ashley said under her breath.

It was silent for a moment until his dad coughed

"Travis, why don't you finish what I asked you to do?"

"Yes sir" He mumbled and walked away when his father loosened his grip on travis's shoulder.

Travis felt the knife in his pocket, the gun his is back. His heart was beating faster as he walked closer to the shed. This was it. The end of his pathetic miserable life.   
Good. Kill yourself. No one will even come to help. Sal will probably tell everyone what a f*g you are now after the letter.

Travis snuck out of the church and crept over to the locked shed, knowing the combo and opened it up, stepping inside and closed it behind him.

* * *

"Have any of you seen my son?" Mr Phelps walking up to the two asked and Ash shook her head.  
"No sir"

  
The man had a angry look on him. That's the first thing todd noticed.

  
"That boy is going to get it..." He whispered under his breath but Todd heard."If you see him come find me" He growled. After the olderman left Todd looked over at Ash.   
"He looks pissed" He said softly

"Yep. C'mon let's try to find him..I just have a really bad feeling...Hes been acting just, weird."

"Same here...He's been dead quite at school for this week."

"I know...Has he talked about...any depressing thoughts?"

"Depressing thoughts?" Ashley asked as the two started walking but Now that you mentioned it kinda yeah..Friday I heard him talking to a teacher that he doesn't..give a shit about class and he wasn't going to be here on Monday....Oh my God.."

"What?"

"I think he's going to kill himself...That's what Sal was freaking out about.."

The teens walked around the church, then they walked out of the church looking around, Todd noticed that the shed door was open a crack "isnt that supposed to be locked?" He asked walking closer to the shed frowning.

"Travis?"

* * *

Travis sat down in the corner as tears streamed down his cheeks. He cried and sobbed for minutes until he wiped them away sniffing.

"Lord. God. Jesus. Savoir. I am your child. I will be freeing myself from this world as a gift to honor you. I repent everything I did in this life. I know suicide is a sin..But if you knew everything you would forgive me and welcome me to the gates of heaven. If not I accept my fate of being tortured by satan" He said sniffing.

Travis pulled out a pocket knife, and the gun, setting it to the side. He lowered the knife his arm.

"I give myself to you lord..."

Travis pulled the pocket knife and pulled it up his arm, hissing in pain. He kept moving it until there was a cross that went from his wrist to mid elbow. He moved onto his let arm doing the same thing, Making sure they were deep   
He placed the bloody knife on the ground, breathing heavy and tears ran down his cheeks. His vision blurred around him and he smiled weakly. That was until doubt came  
 ** _DIE_**  
 _DONT_   
He didnt understand   
**_FUCKING DIE JUST LIKE YOUR MOM DID_**  
 _NO_  
He wanted this  
 ** _DIE TRAVIS_**   
_DON'T_   
There was a gun still.  
 _ **DIE**_  
 _STOP_  
Why was there doubt!?  
 ** _BURN IN HELL._**  
 _YOU WANT TO LIVE_

Everything was to loud for him. His mind screaming.  
He lifted the gun, not even checking if it was loaded or not and lifted it to his head. Nothing would Stop...He hesitated. Only for a second. That second was life changing. The boy looked up seeing that the door was opening, white light blinding him was an angel with red hair and a light blue dress reaching out for him, she pulled the gun away from him tossing it outside with ease.  
Travis watched it stunned, his body shaking and freezing up.

"I-It doesn't stop" travis whispered, staring into space. The angel tried talking to him, he felt pressure on his arms but didn't look down.

"I couldn't- The pain keeps getting worse no matter what I try!" Travis cried. The angel wrapped her arms around Travis who was sobbing.  
  
"I-I mean what's the point if this is all there is. An endless cycle of pain. Itll never get better-I Can't even d-die right" He said laughing through his sobs  
  
"You're going to be ok help is coming" The angel spoke gently. 

"I wanted-I need to stop breathing I can't keep living like this I don't want this pain take it away please! Take it away take it away-" Travis sobbed "let me die already"

The angel who was by him was talking to him the wholeyime. Holding his hand tightly. Saying something about, not sleeping.  
He felt tired though...  
His head was laying down on her knees  
When did he lay down?  
He looked down at his arms and saw fabric tied around them..when did that happened? 

Everything felt dizzy and blurry for travis, as his breathing became heavier. 

The angel moved hair out of his face, whispering soft soothing words to him.

Travis looked over at the and saw there was another angel..or demon in the doorway. He had red hair and a suit..Red and blue lights flashed behind him.

Travis's eyes slowly closed, the world turned the black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This IS NOT THE END!!!! I will be taking a break from this though! Not sure how long! Take care guys and I'll be back as soon as I can!


	16. Chapter 16

It was a small young travis and a young larry standing in front or the principal.

"He started it!" Larry said pointing to travis.

The two boys had gotten in an argument at ressese, and started fighting on the ground.

"I did not!" The blonde boy who hand spots starting to appear on his skin yelled. "All about your dad. Your dad is the greatest, your dad is smart it's annoying! You're a freak" he said his eyes squinting to the boy with long hair.

"Well at least I have a dad who cares for me!"

Travis was about to attack Larry, but the principal pulled them away. "Travis. This is unable behavior. We have called your mother to pick you up. You should know better, Be thankful your dad is a well respected man here..cant believe people like you are here" he mumbled under his breath "You may go now. Larry stay."

Travis stommed out of the office, sitting on the chairs and crossed his arms huffing.  
A few minutes passed and travis's mom came walking in  
She was a plump woman, but a little on the skinny side m, long black hair tied in a ponytail, a blue dress with a white jacket on, and black leggings.

She crouched down in front of the young boy and smiled weakly "Hey there baby..can you tell me what happened?"

"You won't be mad?" The boy whimpered. 

"No..no not at all its ok... what happened?"

"He called out dad!" Travis sniffed. "That freak with long hair!" He said whining.

"Mijia hey its okay..we don't call people freaks. That's very rude to do."

"But daddy-"

"Don't listen to him honey.." she said pulling up her jacket that had fallen off her shoulder, "The call also stated that you punched him? It's rude to punch people travis.."

  
"Then why does daddy do that to you?"

Her smile wavered and she quickly wiped a tear away. How could she tell a child this?

"He thinks punching people will make him feel in charge, but it doesn't. It just shows anger and hated. Can you promise me you won't punch someone again? And if you do feel like it to talk to me?" She said smiling, kissing the top of travis's head.

"Ok..."

"You're dad is working extra hard today, so we need to be quiet when we get back okay?" She whispered.

"Is he going to be mad at me again?" Travis whispered sniffing. "I don't like him mad."

"No sweetie..no.." his mom coded as she wiped a tear from his face. "We'll...figure something out...ok?"

"He scares me"

"I know Mijia..I know he scary, Has he done anything to you?" She asked brushing against travis's bruised cheek, frowning. She looked over at the door opening, A young Larry stomping out

Travis nodded and pointed to his cheek "I messed up on prayers this morning while you were making breakfast. He told me if any kids asked I ran into a door."

"Oh honey" she said tearing up. "I promise you we are going to get away from him soon okay? We'll find somewhere to live together...Where have you always wanted to live?"

"Uhhhh New York!" He said wiping his nose, giggling softly.

His mom laughed and nodded "New york heh okay honey, we can go to New York..."

"Yay!" The young boy said giggling.

"Tala?" A voice said behind her.

Travis's mom flinched and she turned around, sighing at the women.

"Oh lisa you scared me!" She said laughing softly "hows Larry and your husband doing?" Tala stood up looking at lisa.

Larry crossed his arms glancing away from travis and his mother.

"Were doing good! Since I'm working at the apartments I'm able to get the room free!"

"That's wonderful!"

"I'm sorry about larry" Lisa stated sighing.

"Oh no its ok! I'm sorry that travis punched Larry. I have no idea he would do that"

"Thank you for apologizing, but I needed to teach him how to act and not be rude to other families. He's in third grade he needs to know this stuff"

Tala sighed softly and nodded rubbing her eyes

"You look exhausted dear" lisa said frowning.

"Oh, Travis had a nightmare last night and I had to help him that's all"

"Aw, that sucks, if travis ever wants to come over he's more than welcomed to"

"Mom!" Larry hissed, which resulted into lisa staring at her son angrily. 

"Thank you" Tala said softly smiling.

"Mrs. Phelps?" The principal called for her, making her turn around

"Yes?"

"I need to talk to you for a moment," she said.

"Oh..um..lisa? Can you watch Travis?"

"Sure" She said smiling and walked over to travis with larry, although Larry stood back more. 

Tala smiled as she watched lisa talk with travis before walking to the office, closing the door.

Tala walked into the office, looking at the women at the desk, getting reminders of when they were in high school....

"I need to talk about the bruises on travis's arm?"Amy asked.

"Oh..."

"if there is something going on at home then-"

"No no nothing's going on-Travis is just getting into a lot of fights lately. I don't know why but we are working on it-" Tala stated laughing softly.

"Tala no kid can leave those types of marks-"

"No everything is fine its okay!" She said louder.

"Tala I know you-"

"No- no I don't want to bring up the past with us-" She said standing up and started to walk away, but was stopped when Amy grabbed her arm, and pulled her closer, gently placing a hand on her cheek, making her flinch back.

"You know how Damian is...If he ever found out we even.." Tala muttered, closing her eyes and smiling as the hand brushed her bruised cheek that was covered by makeup.

"I know.. I just care for you"

"I know you do"

She gently took Tala's hand, rubbing her thumb on it. "If you ever need to get away you can always come to me. I always have a spare room open."

"I know..."

The two women held hands for a few seconds before she left the room.

* * *

"We need him!"

"I don't want him in the cult!"

"We need him! He can help! The ritual as started with him we can't just stop it! We need to make sure he stays in this world!"

"He's MY son."

"He doesn't need to know even! We can we can use the writings to help him forget! It'll all be a dream for him!"

"You're insane!"

Travis heard a scream, and then a lot of thumping around down stairs.

"You are filth!"

Nothing from his mom.

"Tomorrow the cult will know about your pathetic behavior whore." Then glass shattering.

Travis heard footsteps up the stairs and his eyes widened scrambling to his closet, and closed the door, pulling his knees up to his chest and hid at the furthest end of the closet holding his breath.

He saw feet walk to his closet then a faint whisper

"Travis?" She said softly.

The young boy crawled out of his closet, looking up at his mom.

His mom had a bleeding nose and lip, and she had a bandage on her head. Dried blood smeared on her face.

"Honey I want you to know I love you so much" She said lifted travis up, and brought him to his bed kissing the top of travis's head and took off her necklace, putting it on travis.  
"This will protect you.I'll come back for you. When I get home and have enough money i'll come get you. We can go to New York together okay? I just can't be here"

"Mommy...?"

She sniffed as tears ran down her cheeks "You are more than your father travis. Don't let him control you. I will love you no matter what, cause that's what we do" She said her eyes glossy. "That's what our religion is. To always love"

"Mommy-" Travis cried running to her and hugged her tightly.

"I love you so much baby" She said kissing his head "don't forget that okay? I love you so much. Try to sleep ok? I love you" she said kissing his cheek. "I promise I'll be back"

"Promise?"

She nodded and grabbed travis's hand wrapping her pinky around his "Pinky promise" She said wiping her eyes "I love you travis" Tala stood up, and walked out of his room.

Travis did what he was told, laying in bed and closed his eyes but not falling asleep. He couldn't think, what did his mom mean?

The next day Tala was gone. Not a trace was left of her in the house. Travis finished breakfast and set down the plate for his father and himself, A fresh black eye, and a small cut on his cheek was on display for everyone to see.  
For some reason his father kept the radio on, They didn't have a TV.  
That's when they heard what was on the news on the radio. That was the first event that darkened the boys heart

"We have a report that..Tala Phelps..has been murdered. They found her body dismembered in a bag in the lake. We have a suspect in our hands. The principle of nockfill elementary. We send our prayers to the Phelps."

"M-mommy?"

"Quiet boy. Get up to your room. We aren't going to school today."

Travis nodded, tears tearing up in his eyes as he scrambled upstairs, collapsing on his bean bag and cried. He prayed silently telling god to bring mommy back, to take daddy or him instead.

* * *

_"We have an update on Travis Phelps, he is in stable condition and will survive his suicide attempt, His father asks for peace and quiet, so we will agree with that for the time being"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Some chapters in the future may be delayed since I'm in crew for our schools big show, but I'll try to get as much out as I can!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tw: mentions of suicide attempts,   
> Mentions of eating disorders

Travis slowly opened his eyes, light shining into them. The boy groaned softly, closing his eyes and let a few tears drip down his cheeks.

He survived.

He didn't know what to think. He still felt, dead...

He glanced down at his arms to see they had bandages up to his upper arms, travis had a feeling he had stitches under them. the boy moved a hand to his cheek feeling a feeding tube down that went into his nose. 

The boy glanced to his sides, no one was there obviously. Why would someone be there. He did notice a grey silver bag on the desk, he frowned and gently grabbed it, pulling it on him. Travis pulled out a card, shockingly it was from Sal...

_I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you, I know it can be hard so I hope these gifts can help :) I may not be able to give you this in person because your dad still asked for privacy, so if you don't get this in person: I love you, I want you to have a good recovery. If you do get this in person then I will say this exact thing to you:)'l_

Travis crumpled the note up and threw it to the ground scoffing. 

_ Bullshit _

He dug into the pages pulling out a stuffed animal, cards, a CD for...Sanity Falls?

"Ah your awake" a voice said that made travis jump, looking up. It was a doctor. 

Travis quickly set the bag down, sighing. "Yeah"

"How are you feeling?"

"Am I allowed to curse?" 

The doctor chuckled and nodded 

"I feel like shit" 

"That can be understandable, Is the feeding tube comfortable?" He asked writing notes down. 

"I guess. I'm a little weird in the back...why do I need it?"

" Travis, you were found severely malnourished, your friends telling us that you fix into the symptoms of anorexia and possibly bulimia"

Travis glanced down biting his lip. "Oh..." 

"Because of that and your suicide attempt we are legally required to get you a therapist, and call in your dad to tell him you see awake."

Travis just nodded as the doctor walked away. The boy turned to his side closing his eyes. 

About thirty minutes had passed when he heard the door open, and in came his dad.

"You're awake."

"Farther..." the boy mumbled turning around to see him sit down in a chair. 

"Travis." His dad said crossing his arms, Travis glanced behind his dad to see..reporters walking in the hospital? His dad must've noticed them to because he instantly changed his demeanor. 

"How could you do this to me" His dad said covering his face, making over exaggerated crying. It was obvious it was fake, except to travis 

"I'm sorry"

"You wanted to leave me alone? After your mother died?"

"She's not dead! She promised she'll come back..."

He gasped as he felt a slap on his cheek, falling silent and glanced down. "I'm sorry father"

"You shouldn't of hurt me like that travis"

"I-I know.."

"Apologize"

"I didn't mean to hurt you"

"By?"

"By trying to kill myself-"

"Good. And stop that stutter. You're not a f*g." His dad growled "I Also put a bible in your bed cabinet so you can repent your sins."

"I-im sorry"

"We have interviewers coming today. I thought it would be just me but now they will interview you"

"Now...?" 

His dad raised his hand, which made travis flinch back. 

"Yes now boy. When they get here you will say whatever they ask of you got it?"

"Yes sir..."

* * *

"They're interviewing Travis?" Henry asked 

"Yep"

"I feel bad for that kid" Henry said sighing sitting on the couch. "Ashley and todd found him right?"

Sal nodded "Yeah ash told me travis was a sobbing mess, telling her if she could let him die and take the pain away..She found him with a gun to his head dad."

"Jesus christ..The gun wasn't even loaded right?"

"Yep." Sal mumbled as Mr. Phelps came onto the screen. 

"I heard from lisa that Mr. Phelps was always demanding and very controlling with his wife, and majorly strict with travis."

"His dad is horrible" Sal mumbled watching the TV.

"Horrible?"

"Hes honesty abusive " Sal admitted to his dad 

"Abusive? How so?" Henry asked frowning and growing worried. 

"Well.."

"Sal. This is serious. Does he abuse travis?"

"I..Really don't know, I think he does, He didn't say anything to me but uh, in school I remember seeing bruises on him a couple of times, when asked he cursed off people and stormed away...and larry used to tell me in middle school travis started changing.

Sal watched his dad sigh, rubbing his head "if he is abusive to travis then we could get the police involved, or something. I always had a weird vibe around his dad"

"Yeah...I know" 

The boy watched as travis mumbled a few words to the reporters, but Mr. Phelps did the most talking.

* * *

Two weeks of privacy had passed and Sal was on his way to see travis again, he waved at a nurse, walking the boys room but stopped outside when he heard Mr. Phelps talking to travis. 

"Because of your STUPID act the ritual was ruined!"

Ritual..?

Wait...

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

"I'm sorry..."

"Sorry!? You're fucking sorry!? No. You made a mockery of our name. It was supposed to happen last night! But you were in this fucking hospital! When you get out we are going to the apartments immediately. And wait for me below. Members will be waiting for you. They are going to...fix your mind. This was a mistake to have you in it."

Sal watched as his son of a bi-His dad stormed out of the room. Staring at Sal as he left.

Sal looked back at travis, who was breathing deeply.

"Hey travis..." Sal said softly walking inside. 

Sal watched as travis quickly wiped his eyes and noticed a hint of red spread across his face "hey..." He said softly. 

"How are you?"

"Well I tried to kill myself two weeks ago by slicing my skin open and tried to blow my brains out after so what do you think?" The boy growled clearly still angry at his talk with his dad.

Sal was taken back by the angered response.

"Travis-"

"My original plan was to hang myself. Did you know that? was going to tie a noose to the balcony railing and then jump so I could snap my neck in front of the whole church and my father so I could go to hell but then I remembered I'm not good at knots so the rope could have just fallen. Although if it did I could of fallen a few feet and ended up breaking something that could of led me to die so there's that. I'm still on suicide watch but since my father has only come twice for a few minutes in my two week stay almost they are letting friends in for my mental health to get better or some shit " Travis said "It's funny they think it'll help,"

"I had no idea...I'm so sorry..." Sal said softly, worried about the boys well being, obviously he wouldn't be fine because of what happened, But this seemed..worse.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I had doubt that made me not blow my brains out, and then I passed out. Had a fucking weird dream about my mom, I heard some news sounds and here I fucking am. Alive" travis groaned.

"You know if you need to talk to someone-"

"Let's just drop it now. I'm sorry I even brought it up" 

"Right, of course uh do you want me to paint your nails?" 

"My nails?"

"Yeah man I want to paint them, if that's cool," Sal said shrugging "in my backpack I have some nail polish"

"My dad would tell at me for them."

"Um I can say a girl that stays here asked if she can do your nails? You're dad won't be mad at that right?"

"I guess" 

'Great! What color? I have blue...Purple, some shiny shit, black," he said pulling a chair up to travis. 

'Black" 

"Black it is" Sal hummed putting out black nail polish, setting his backpack down, opening the cap.

Travis watched in silence as sal gently took his hand and started to paint his nails black. 

"So In school we got snowed in" Sal spoke up as he painted.

'Really?" 

"Yeah we couldn't leave and we were stuck there for two hours after" He laughed "It was great, most kids snuck off and some played into the snow. Me and Larry snuck off right when the bell rang. He said as he grabbed travis's other hand.

"I feel numb..." travis said finally.

Sal closed his eyes letting out a sigh, as he painted his  hand. 

"Pills may do that to you."

"I can't feel anything..." travis mumbled. 

"I know...What meditations do you have?" 

"Antidepressants, a therapist comes here and is talking about I may have Bpd? Or bipolar? I forgot what she said..."

"That's good they can help" 

"I haven't taken any yet" 

"You should." Sal said frowning under his prosthetic. 

"I need to wait for the nurse, cause you know suicide watch and shit"

"Oh yeah..."

"When I went to your place I saw pills on your table, what for?" Travis asked 

"...Um antidepressants...things that help with my schizophrenia...Anxiety and PTSD. And sleeping pills that could help if I had a nightmare, but I usually don't take those. They make me throw up, but my nightmares haven't been as bad....And some for my...episodes, but they haven't worked lately" he said and closing the nail polish, "There all done! Just don't move your hand:

"Wait episodes?"

"Uh.... it's when I zone out completely. Can happen any time, sometimes I can collapse, others I can stand. All depends on it really.

"All that?" 

"Yeah."

"And you use all these medications because of something that happened as a kid?" 

"Mmh, one event fucked me up for life" He said chuckling softly. 

"It was an event that happened one time right? And that..that made you get all those pills?"

"Yeah...That's..oddly..specific, has anything happened?" Sal asked worried. Travis just swallowed and nodded. 

"As a kid?"

"Y-yeah..." 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

'No...I don't know"

"Alright, I understand that"

Travis sighed looking down "I want to feel better but I can't."

"It does get better travis. Trust me. I tried..Three times. Larry knows about one..But not the others"

"Three?"

"After my mom died and my face I was getting bullied so badly at school we had to move. It got to the point I came home with a cracked rib once..and I couldn't take it so I got a bottle and gulped it all down....The second was a few weeks before we moved here freshman year and you know about mine from sophomore year"

"I tried freshman year..." Travis said softly, making Sal look up his eyes widening. This wasn't his first attempt? 

"What?"

"I had, had enough of everything and.. was so alone. I felt so...wrong so on the weekend you came...Or was it two weeks? I tried to drown myself in the tub, but my dad knew somehow, I don't know how. Next thing I knew he broke the door down and..." travis paused and took a deep breath, glancing up "Anyways uh after that I couldn't have a lock on the bathroom..."

"I'm so sorry travis..." 

"Its ok, once I get out of here i'm going to a mental hospital for uh three times a week for four hours, mainly for my....uh...my..eating disorder, but also to help with my mental health. Oh but I'm staying there overnight for a week, then its three times a week"

"That's good you are getting help"

"Yeah... I overhead the doctors forcing my dad he needed to take me and they could get a court order, that I need to go"

"Wow" Sal said chuckling "Can I curse your dad out?"

"I guess...?"

"Your dad is a fucking peace of- Ah shit.." he stopped rubbing his head

"Sal?"

"Episode" was all he managed to say.

Sal was in a white room, a head he knew all too well came into few

_ _h_ c__l_ _ea___ is _D__i_n _h_lp_ _

_ "What?"  _

_ T_AV_S P__L_S IS t__ K_Y! _

_ The head spoke again _

_ "Hey! Don't go!" _

_ Dnif th_ d_g _

_ "Dog? What dog!"  _

And like that the vision was over and Sal came through again.

"-al? You ok?" Travis asked as sal came through.

"Hm? Oh yeah, sorry about that..how long was I out?" 

"Oh um.. a few seconds, you feel ok?"

"Yeah." 

Sal looked as travis bit his lip nervously, taking a shaking breath

'Sal" He crowed out nervously.

"Yeah?" Sal said, frowning under his prosthetic, rubbing his head from a headache.

"You saw the note...My uh my note?" Travis asked and sal nodded behind his prosthetic 

Oh...

"Yeah..." Sal sighed.

"I..I'm....You know?"

"I Know.. And I want you to know that I'm always going to accept you travis. I'm not sure...on my..love interests though"

Travis looked down "O-oh.."

"But, that doesn't mean I'm going to hate you" Sal said gently taking Travis's hand, smiling "I do love you. Make that romantic or platonic. I will always accept you for who. And I'm so proud of you for being able to tell me." 

Sal watched as travis teared up, wiping his eyes before chuckling "Are my hands dry enough?" He said smiling.

"Haha, yeah they are.." Sal smiled under his prosthetic. Blushed even, Travis's smile was something he could only dream about. He saw his real smile. That was a rare moment for them, The other time was a few months ago. 

"Can I kiss you?" Sal asked suddenly. Out of nowhere. He didn't know why he said it..

"What?" 

"I want to kiss you" Sal said again. "Can I?"

"I thought you didn't know if you liked me?"

Sal shrugged "Well if you're cool with me kissing you and we both like it , and want to do it again then that means something right?" 

"I-I- I mean-if-if you and-you know" Travis stuttered blushing back.

He took off his prosthetic and gently placed it down, placing his hand on travis's cheek, travis looked at sal, smiling softly at his dismembered face. Even though he could hardly see a face on Sal travis knew he was still beautiful.. 

The two boys moved closer together, Travis's heart was beating faster and faster. Was this actually happening? His dream actually coming true? 

Their lips connected and travis closed his eyes, gently pulling away after, opening them and blushing madly.

"That-That was amazing Holy shit-shit h-holy shit we kissed! I mean we did kiss, did you like it?" 

Sal smiled softly nodding "Yeah, it was nice. I enjoyed it...Do..you...want to kiss again?"

The blonde just nodded, his body shaking softly. Something felt wrong... Sal moved closer to Travis, cupping his cheek and pressed a kiss to him again.

Travis tensed up at the kiss, phantom touches of him spread all over his body. His voice echoed in travis's ear.

"Travis?" He asked pulling away. 

Oh God oh god, memories of the event and passed ones when he was younger flashed through his mind. 

"Travis." 

He looked up at sal, a worried expression on his face.

"Look at me. Its ok..you're safe.." 

Travis shook his head shutting his eyes "no-Please no don't touch me-" he said gasping for air. His eyes frantic.

"Ok...I'm not..Can you breathe for me?" Sal said moving his hands away from the boy.

Travis took quick breaths, "I-I can't stop thinking about him-I I see him everywhere and I keep hearing his voice.

"I'm so sorry Travis...but you need to breathe..." 

The boy wiped his eyes glancing down I'm sorry"

"Don't be it's ok....have you had panic attacks like that before?"

"Yeah, once when I was at Larry's place. When I went into the bathroom....I think a few times.."

The boy took heavy breathes before calming down. "I feel exhausted." Travis mumbled. 

"You should rest travis..." Sal sighed clipping his prosthetic back on. "Or sleep

"Sleep yeah..." 

Sal watched as travis turned to his side and pulled a blanket close to him.

"Night Sal." Travis sighed turning in bed.

"Night travis..." Sal mumbled, grabbing his backpack and walked out of the room, turning back to look at travis one last time. 

He sighed softly, rubbing his head and looked around for a nurse. That had to of been an attack..Something. 

"Mam?" He called out to a nurse who walked passed him.

The nurse turned around, gasping at his prosthetic, before forcing a smile "Yes sweetie?"

He didn't care she thought he was a girl at this point. He needed to talk to someone about this.

"I think my friend, travis Phelps? Uh had a PTSD attack..Or anxiety attack?"

"How so?" She asked frowning, grabbing a pen a paper.

''Well uh, I was...hugging him and I think I triggered something because he started sweating, breathing heavily and shut his eyes, saying that he saw and heard someone oh he was spacing out at the beginning though."

"I'll look into that thank you mam" 

"Thanks" Sal hummed as he walked out of the hospital. He hoped travis would be able to get the help he desperately needed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: talk about eating disorders, talk about self harm, seizures(?) Idk ghost possession

His dad ignored him the rest of his stay. Sal was the only person who came almost every day.. it felt weird having Sal around him. They kissed, held hands...Did this make them a couple? Was he even ready for a relationship? 

Sal frowned as he finally saw old faded bruises on travis's neck as he started to look closer at the boy, travis looked down himself and pulled his hospital gown up running a hand through his hair and sighed.

Sal frowned under his prosthetic, and gently took travis hand, that sti has the nail polish on it. "So I'm guessing your dad bought the story?"

"Oh, he hasn't come since" the boy said calmly, like it didn't phase him.

That made Sal pull away. What kind of father doesn't visit a child. THEIR child who tried to kill themselves? 

Sal remembered telling his dad to stop visiting because he was out of sick days for work and he needed the money more, how Sal could manage a day. 

But Mr.Phelps was a pure, cold hearted, monster. "I'm sorry" sal said taking travis's hand again. 

"Its ok..." Travis said, leaving an awkward moment of silence.

"anyways hah" he chuckled nervously blushing hard when Sal gently took his hand. 

"Thank you for-Uh-coming, it means...so much to me" He said softly, And Sal smiled back under his prosthetic, pulling a chair up to.sit down next to him. "So what are we"

"What?"

"I mean we kissed...and tried to kiss again. What does that make us? Dating?"

Yes yes yes yes yes please yes. "I don't know..." He mumbled "I wanted this for so long but...I don't feel...in the right place to make that decision"

"I understand that travis. And it's ok...We don't need to rush anything"

"Cool..." travis said softly smiling, "so how's uh school?"

"Hellish"

Travis chuckled at that "haha yeah it felt like hell to me as well, and uh actually when I got to the mental hospital in my stay they're going to let me do school work, but will let me spend as much time on it"

"That's good. But don't, over pressure yourself ok? I really think that this is going to hell you a lot travis. I really mean it" 

Travis blushed at that and nodded, "yea-yeah, Uh it's going to be weird talking to someone about this, and even after how I'm required to go to a therapist once a week.'

"Speaking of therapy... it's going to feel weird and scary at first. But once you get comfy it's...Good. personally my therapist is Ms. Christine and she is honestly the best, I kinda feel comfortable without my prosthetic off with her but she's ok if I wear it or not." 

Travis nodded. "Cool...Uh I remember getting kinda one when my mom..." he paused and shook his head "He was a christan one and I stopped seeing him after a month."

"Aw I'm sorry about that" Sal said frowning. 

"Its ok" 

Sal looked over at the clock and then to travis. "Well I can stay here for another hour, what should we do?"

"Can we hold hands? Or ih see if you can lay next to me here?"

Sal smiled nodding, and stood up "Hell yes. I'll be back I'm going to ask"

A few minutes later sal walked in again, giving the all clear and climbed into the bed with travis. 

Travis pulled back at first, looking at sal confused for a second before he slowly leaned in, tensing up as sal wrapped his arms around the boy.

They stayed like that for who knows how long, both not moving. That was until Sal placed a hand on travis's cheek, making his face turn red, hei slowly unclipped his prosthetic and leaned into Travis again

The two kissed again, only this time it was for a second

Travis wanted more. He wanted to kiss sal, for him to kiss him. To feel more loved, to love...

Travis wished he didn't need to leave. 

_ Sally shoved the man down hard on the ground. _

_ Sal looked to his hand to see a knife already covered in blood. _

_ Turning to Mr. Phelps he stumbled back when he saw the man's red eyes. _

_ The knife came straight down onto Mr.Phelps body. spurting black blood. Over and over again hands slammed the knife into the skin. _

_ Sal looked up at the mirror, only to his horror to see travis staring right back at him. _

_ Suddenly a hand grabbed his neck and he screamed.  _

_ SALLY FACE _

_ It was so loud _

_ SALLY FACE SALLY SALLY SALLY SALLY _

Sal covered his ears and shut his eyes

"Shut up!" Sally screamed. 

Larry immediately sat up looking around in the dark, he turned the lights on, looking over at sal seeing him gripping his hair and rocking back and forth. he rushed to sal, dripping down to him. 

"hey hey hey it's me, it's me, Sal sal" 

"It won't stop larry!" 

"What's not stopping?" 

"The screaming it wont stop!" Sally cried looking around frantically.

Larry had now just realised the boy didn't have his prosthetic, and his eye was filled with pure terror and fear.

"Shit" he cursed under his breath "ok uh do you want me to call my mom?" 

"I-No-I don't know!"

Larry sighed and nodded "ok ok...want me to hold you?" He asked and sal nodded crying, he latched onto Larry shaking as Larry rubbed his back gently. "Its ok sal..it's going to be ok.." 

Sal only curled up more on himself wheezing and crying into Larry's shirt. "Why-Why wont they go away-"

"I don't know sal....I dont know.."

The next day He watched as the nurse cleaned his stitches and sighed. "Are they going to...uh scar?" He asked nervously and the nurse shook her head. "The smaller ones won't, the big ones...most likely, unless if we wait till it heals fully and could restitch it..I'm sorry baby"

"Its ok, thank you." He said sighing watching her leave. Travis turned to his side, deciding to sleep but stopped him scared him.

Travis's eyes widened as he saw a figure that looked like his mom....the figure moved closer and travis realized it really was her.

"M-mom?" The boy whimpered, sitting up as tears dripped down his cheeks before he shook his head "No no no I'm going insane I'm going insane I'm crazy! Hah hah hah I'm actually crazy!" Travis laughed

The ghostly figure walked closer to travis, smiling softly at the boy in the bed. "Mija...why are you crying?" 

That stopped the boy, he wiped his eyes looking at her "Are you a spirit?" 

"I'm sorry I haven't been able been able to visit you...Yes I am a spirit dear" She placed a hand on her son's cheek "my boy..." 

"How..."

"Your presence is so strong for me baby...I need to rest soon though.." 

"R-rest what?" 

Travis shankly moved his hand, going right through his mom, making the bot let out a shaky sob. 

"N-no. You promised! You promised you'd come back for me!" 

"Travis..." 

"You promised me..."

"I know mija..."

"You left me With that fucking-Physco!"

"I didn't want to leave you with him...I was killed before I could even come back for you"

"I want t..to hold you" travis cried 

"I'm afraid that's not possible..:

"What?"

"You see mija..I was in this cult for the longest time. And I was chosen to be the next leader. But I refused. So they killed me. Feed my soul to demons. But I didn't go away. All it did was use my soul to gain power"

"What...?"

"I died as a sacrifice to the red eyed demon travis. I was meant to be the host. But I was too weak. So when she-I ran away they killed her."

His mother's eyes turned red for a moment, then black then her body dissolved into black smoke. Hands wrapped around the boys neck, who started spasming, his arms trying to claw at the demon before dropping to his side and his eyes rolled back. 

Sal hummed walking to travis, but was stopped in fear when nurses and doctors ran into his room. Sal followed the nurses, asking one what was happening 

"What's going on? Is he ok?"

"He's having a seizure." She said walked into the room. Sal tried to follow but stopped when he saw him. His eyes widened as he saw something, right on travis. Who looked like he was shaking. The monitors were off the charts then got shocked, then went out. The demon vanished and travis's body relaxed. A few seconds after that the montinters were back on. Nurses will all over him, checking his pulse, more came in talking about how they needed to wheel him into the MRI room.

Sal was shaking as he pulled out his phone to call Larry. Tears already running down his cheeks.

"Hey sally face what's up?

"L-larry" he choked up 

"Hey you ok there little dude?"

"No"

"What happened?"

"Some-Demon! I don't know if it started attacking travis!" 

"Jesus fucking christ... Can you breath ?"

"N-No!" 

"Is there someone there?"

"N-nurses"

"Alright,I'm driving over stay there" 

Sal nodded and hung up and walked over to a nurse coughing. "I-Um-I can't breathe. I'm hav-having. a panic attack" Sal wheezed out and immediately she stood up calling out

"Can we get some water over here? And some type of food?"

The nurse led sal to a small room, closing the door and helped him calm down, a few minutes later She rubbed his back as Sals body shakes, his hands trembling. 

"Feeling any better sweetie?" She said, thanking a doctor who walked in to give her the snacks.

"Yeah...uh yeah thanks" He mumbled, thanking her as he took the juice and snacks from her.

Sal put the straw in a while in his prosthetic drinking it, and then slid the chips under it.

"Is can anyone come pick you up?"

"Oh yeah ...my friend larry... uh tall, long hair, smells like drugs but only because he lives in the city" He lied "He was on his way."

"Alright. I can come get you when he's here. Now you can rest ok?" 

"Yeah" Sal sighed, handing her the chips and drink back and laid down on the hospital bed. Unclipping his mask when she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got TWO OUT HAHAH EAT THAT FIANLS


End file.
